20 - Moving On

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Draco's admission hung in the air between us; our shallow, uneven breaths making the only sound above the distant hum of office life.

For the first time in my life, I didn't know what to say.

"Etta?" His voice was hoarse, his eyes looking at me with a mixture of pain and longing.

I wanted to go to him. I wanted to just surrender myself completely to the man I've always loved. I was fed up with trying to fight it, to be strong.

But then I thought about Albus, my son who needed me to be there for him. I thought about Scorpius, an innocent, kind caring boy, who was just about to lose his mother. And I thought about Astoria, Draco's wife, who was laying in their home, dying. I thought about all the things I should have thought about before I had allowed myself to kiss him.

Slowly, I shook my head.

"I can't do this, Draco. I just can't." I choked sadly, looking away, unable to bear the pain of seeing his face crumple in hurt.

I heard his heavy, resigned sigh and listened as he silently left, closing the office door quietly shut behind him.

***

"Knock knock!"

I looked up from my desk, which had now been put back in its usual place. It was Tony.

My heart gave a small plummet. In all the drama with Draco, I had completely forgotten about our dinner arrangements with Ron and Hermione.

"Hey, Tony," I murmured morosely, as he sauntered over and sat down in front of my desk. "Just give me a minute."

"Is everything okay, darling?" he asked, leaning forward in the chair, concern etched over his features as he studied my face intently. "You still don't look one hundred percent."

"Yes - no... ugh. It's just stuff with Albus," I half admitted.

Tony reached out and clasped his hand over mine. "Darling, I mean it. If there's anything I can do...?"

"No, no. I can handle it," I said, pulling my hand back out of his grip. "I am his mother."

"And when he comes home for Christmas, I can start to become some kind of father figure - I hope," he smiled, showing me all his white teeth.

"Um, yeah. Sure." I said stiffly, my heart twisting as my mind drifted once again to Draco.

We Apparated to Ron and Hermione's where we were greeted with the comforting sounds and smells of cooking.

"Chicken supreme tonight," Hermione called from the kitchen as Tony and I removed our coats in the hallway, "I hope that's okay for you, Etta?"

I didn't miss the pointed tones of her voice.

"Lovely," I muttered, leaving Tony chatting to Ron about broomsticks as I entered the kitchen, helping myself to a wine glass. I poured a huge glass from the bottle I had brought along.

Hermione stared at me open mouthed, as I gulped it down.

I gasped, bringing it away from my lips, already having half finished it. "Want some?"

"Er, no, it's okay, I'll wait until I sit down for dinner," she replied warily. "Uh- Etta, is everything okay?"

"I got an owl from Minerva today." I said, topping up my glass. "About Albus."

"Oh, I see," Hermione nodded; realisation suddenly dawning on her face.

"And so did Draco." I continued. "About Scorpius. He came to see me about it."

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