Saving me

Epilouge

Josh's pov
"Daddy up!" I hear. I lean down and pick up our four year old daughter. "Daddy where's mommy?" "Mommy is all around us Lucy," I explain to her. Joseph is eight. Alice is almost fifteen. I rest Lucy on my hip. Joseph and Alice stand next to me. My hair beginning to gray from the stress of the past few years. "Heather Grace Hutcherson," Lucy reads aloud. "Proud mother, wife, and friend," Alice reads. "Loved by her family and everyone she met," Joseph reads last. "It's very nice dad," Alice says. "Mom would have loved it," she adds. "You think so?" I ask her. "I know so dad," she smiles and winks at me. I grin and shift Lucy to my other hip.

It's quiet on the way home. The kids don't know how they're mother died. I do. I have to tell Alice. Or she probably knows. I'm not sure. I put Lucy down for a nap. Joseph goes up and plays in his room. I go into my office and look at the bills pilling up. I grab one and start writing out the check for it. I hear the door open. "Dad?" I hear Alice say. "Yes sweetie?" I ask her. "How did mom die?" Wow straight forward and to the point. "Sit down," I sigh. I scratch the back of my head and sigh again. "I know this isn't easy dad, but I wanna know. I won't tell Joseph or Lucy," she says quietly. "Your mother was severely depressed," I tell her. "After Lucy was born and Carter came back for her. It sent her over the edge. She couldn't get away from him. Hence all the moving while you were growing up." "It was to escape Carter?" "Yes," I nod. "Who is he?" She asks me. "Carter is your real father," I tell her. "Not you?" "No," I shake my head shamefully. "You're still my dad. Carter is a terrible one. He beat me as a young child," she says. I nod my head. "Anyway, we did that to get away from him. Then one day you were at school as was Joseph. Lucy was with your grandparents. I was at a meeting with my manager. I came home to a quiet house. Too quiet. I called for your mother over and over but no answer. I ran up the stairs. Your mother lay in bed. It looked to be as if she was sleeping. Until I saw the note," I stop talking and close my eyes and wipe my cheeks. "Dad, what did it say?" She asks me. "It said 'Josh, I love you and our children very much. I always have and I always will. You saved me in my time of need, and for that I am forever grateful. I'm sorry for what I did but I couldn't keep living knowing I had so little emotion and didn't do anything at all. And that Carter was constantly after me. I love you very very much. Keep the children safe, and remember I am always in your heart. With love Heather Grace,'" I read the note aloud. "She over dosed on her depression medication?" She asks me. "Yeah," I say and cry harder. "I should have told you. I shouldn't have kept it from you. Alice I am so sorry," I sob. She hugs me tightly. "It's okay daddy," she whispers. "Mom is in a better place. She doesn't hurt anymore," she tells me. "I know sweetie I know," I say and hug her back. "I won't tell the others. This will stay between me and you," she whispers. "Thank you," I whisper. "You're welcome," she says. She goes to leave but I stop her. "Alice," I say. "Yes?" "I love you and your brother and sister," I tell her. "I love you too daddy," she smiles. She leaves my office and I smile a little. She still calls me daddy. I put the pen in my hand down and look up towards the sky through the ceiling window. Bright sunlight fills the room. Blue skies as blue as Heathers eyes. "I love you my gorgeous wife, and I hope you don't mind I told Alice. She understands," I say. I look back at my desk and see a note. 'I love you my handsome husband, and it was time for Alice to know. Tell the others when you are ready, I love you.' I start to cry. I look back at the sky and blow a kiss. My left cheek gets warm. I smile. I touch my cheek gently. Cheek kisses from my gorgeous wife. I saved her until she passed, now she's the one saving me.