Saving me

Chapter 11

I wake the next morning and Josh isn't in bed. I hear him on the phone in the other room. Speaking in a hushed angry voice. "No Carter I will not do this anymore. I have fallen in love with her. She doesn't deserve that," he stays silent. Nodding and sighing every so often.

Why would Josh say those things? He hasn't loved me this whole time. Until now. He never loved me or Alice. Josh speaks again, "Carter no! She's been through enough with your bull shit. I'm not taking Alice from her to give to you. She is a fit mother. I see it every day. She cares for her and gives all her time and money to her. Leave it be."

I feel tears well up in my eyes. I hear Alice cry and I walk to her room. Years running down my face. My precious daughter. Josh was gonna take her from me to give to Carter. Alice stops crying as I pick her up and rock her gently. "I won't let anyone take you from me," I tell her. "You mean the world to me. I love you my sweet precious baby girl."

Alice's door opens and Josh walks in. "You okay?" He asks me.

"You're not taking her from me," I tell him.

"What are you talking about?" He asks me.

"Carter will not get her. I am a great mother to her," I say angrily.

"I don't-"

I set Alice in her crib and stop him. "Get out Joshua! Just get out!" I yell at him.

"What? Why?" He asks.

"I heard your conversation with Carter. You will leave and never come back Josh."

"Heather you weren't supposed to find out," he says as he follows me out of Alice's room.

"Wasn't and I did Josh. You never loved me or her. Admit it. You did all that to get Alice from me."

"Heather Grace I do love you. After being with you all the time and seeing who you really are I fell in love with you. Alice too. She's precious. And you're absolutely beautiful. Please don't do this," he says sadly.

I turn to look at him. He's sad. Actually. Utterly depressed looking. I shove his look aside and point to the door. "Just leave Josh. Just leave."

"Heather Grace I'm really really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Especially after being with you for almost six months." He gets his things and he leaves.

When the door closes I break down in tears and fall to the floor. This always happens to me. Always. I never will have a decent relationship. Ever. All I need is Alice. Me and her will alway have each other.

I walk in her room and pick her up. "Who's hungry?" I ask her with a smile. She smiles and babbles a little. I feed her and carry her in the living room. I set her on her blanket on the floor in the open space. I sit next to her and play with her. She is just what I need. All I need.