In the Shadow of His Wings

Chapter 9

- You -

You could feel Mengele's hot breath on your skin as he leaned over you, exhausted from what you had just done. You were still completely puzzled and light-headed, but you had a beautiful warm feeling inside of you. What he had just made you feel was beyond words. At first you had been kind of scared – and yes, it did hurt, but soon that pain had turned into great pleasure that kept building up until you pretty much exploded.

This had been your first time. You had never stripped naked in front of a stranger voluntarily, let alone a man. And you had to admit, now you had done it mostly because you didn't know what he would have done if you hadn't. And partly out of your love for him. And you didn't regret it – at first you had been embarrassed, but after he had started touching you with those sparkling darkened eyes full of lust, you just lost yourself in the moment.

I'm not a virgin anymore... It kept resonating in your head.

You were exhausted now as well, you wished you could just sleep on for a couple of hours and stay here with him. But you knew that you would have to go back out there, back into this dark, unloving world. And Mengele would have to do his... job as well.

Both of your breathing was slowly calming down. After some time he looked into your face, his eyes looking tired, but... satisfied. His hair was not shining as usual and was kind of ruffled since he had only just woken up, but you still thought he looked beautiful.

He smiled at you. "I would love to do that again soon. But now we have to go to work, Liebes..." he said softly, running his fingers through your hair.

When he noticed your face turning sad, he added: "I know, you don't want to... me neither... but remember that we will be together soon, alright? If you ever have doubts... just look at the poem I wrote for you."

You smiled a little and nodded. "Yes... I will."

He gave you a last quick kiss before pulling away and standing up. He pulled his pants back up, then seemed to realize that you didn't have anything to wear. Except for the dress of course, but it would be kind of strange if you'd show up at the camp in it.

"Wait a second," he said before going to the bathroom.

He came back just a couple of seconds later, with a paper towel in his hand. He used it to wipe the sperm off of your stomach, and you felt your face turning red again.

As always, he noticed. "You don't have to be ashamed of this, it is something completely natural..."

"Y-Yes, but... it's still new to me," you replied.

"Don't worry, you will get more comfortable with it soon."

When he was done cleaning you up, he threw the paper towel away. Meanwhile, you sat up on the bed and covered yourself with a blanket. He turned to you. "I'll get dressed now, then I'll get you a suit, alright?"

You nodded and he went to the bathroom again. Now the room was dead silent and you were alone with your thoughts.

You recalled that you didn't have an excuse for Esther yet. What were you supposed to tell her? For some reason you didn't want her to know the truth. You were not sure if she would believe you anyway. Same with the others, if they would ask you.

Should you tell her that he experimented on you and didn't let you go all night? No... then I'd probably look like it. And I probably wouldn't even be alive anymore.

You looked down and noticed a small bloodstain on the bedsheets, reassuring you that you really weren't a virgin anymore. The discomforting thought that this was all he wanted and that he would leave you now crept into your mind. It depressed you, so you blocked it out.