In the Shadow of His Wings

Chapter 5

You stared at your reflection in the mirror, not really being able to believe what you saw. Mengele had ordered a nurse to "prepare" you for a night out. And now you stood there, freshly bathed, in a light blue dress that went to your knees, cream-colored stockings and shiny black heels. Your hair had been thoroughly brushed and was twisted into a bun. Furthermore, she had covered the tattooed number on your left underarm.

At that moment, you felt really pretty. And you were very curious what Mengele would say.

The nurse had also given you a beige-colored coat, so you wouldn't be cold outside. You put it on, it looked huge on your tiny body. But it was very comfortable and at least it would keep you warm.

Just then, you heard the door open. You looked over, and of course, Mengele had entered the room. He had taken off his labcoat and you could admire the full magnificence of his dark-green SS uniform. You noticed an Iron Cross on its left front pocket. What do they actually get that for? Maybe I could ask him... later, you thought.

When he caught sight of you, a big smile appeared on his face. "You look beautiful, Liebes..." he said, slowly making his way towards you.

He stopped in front of you and laid his hands on your shoulders. His eyes scanned your body from top to toe. He started to walk around you, carefully taking in every detail. You felt... exposed. Not necessarily in an entirely bad way, though.

"Just like I wanted... picture-perfect." He halfway turned to the door and held out his hand to you. "Shall we go?"

You nodded and took his hand. You still had no idea where he wanted to take you, but you were definitely excited.

He led you out of the building and you walked across the camp yard together, hand in hand, the sunset sky above you. You felt... special. He gave you a feeling of safety, nobody could hurt you when you were with him because he had authority. Everyone here respected him, so now you felt like a respectable human being too. Not like one of the prisoners anymore.

You approached a parking lot right next to the camp. Many expensive-looking cars stood there. They must belong to the staff here... Wow, so you really get a lot of money for this kind of... "work", you thought to yourself.

Mengele stopped next to a beautiful green convertible. You were stunned, you had never driven in a car like this before!

"Get in," he told you, still smiling.

You let go of his hand, walked around the car and got in on the passenger side. The seat was really comfortable, you just tried to forget your fear and settle back. Mengele got in next to you and inserted the key into the ignition.

Before turning it, he looked over at you. "Ready?"

"Yes."

After getting your approval, he turned the key and revved up the engine. He backed up out of the parking spot and soon you were on an open street. You couldn't remember the last time you had experienced this, but in that moment, you felt absolutely great. The feeling of the cold wind blowing through your hair, the freedom of not being in that awful camp anymore, the view of a beautiful orange-purple-stained sky above you, the happiness of having the man you loved next to you. Oh, yeah, the man you loved... and at the same time, the man who could still kill you whenever he wished.

You glanced over at him. His hair was perfectly slicked back as always, his beautiful eyes were fixed on the street in front of him. He seemed so carefree, so happy. So far, you had only ever seen him either like this or in an extremely angry state. There didn't seem to be anything in between, and he could switch between these two emotional states within just a couple of seconds.

Apart from that, you could never tell if he was serious or not. Who knew if you weren't just a little plaything to him? Something told you that he actually didn't give a flying fig about you and that you would eventually end up in line for the gas chamber, when you weren't useful for his experiments anymore. But if that's the case, why would he write a poem for me and take the time to take me out then? You were conflicted.

He noticed that you were looking at him and shot a glance at you, before turning his attention to the street again. You blushed and looked away quickly.

"Is everything alright, meine Liebe?" he asked.

"Yes... I'm good."

~

Your destination appeared to be a fancy-looking restaurant. Mengele parked right next to it. After turning off the engine, he turned to you and smiled.

"Here we are," he said. "Come on, let's go."

You both stepped out of the car and linked hands again on the way to the restaurant. Before walking in, he even held the door open for you. Quite a gentleman.

The restaurant was full of men in neat uniforms and women in nice dresses, the sounds of their conversations filled the room. They probably all went here after work. Nearly every table was taken, you wondered if you would still get one.

Mengele went over to the counter, dragging you along. He approached the waiter behind it with a smile: "Guten Abend, have you got a free table for two?"

The waiter smiled back at him. Yes, that smile is contagious. "Guten Abend, yes, there's one over there." He pointed at an empty table by the window on the left side.

Mengele looked over to you, still smiling. "Well, then let's go! Oh, and – you can hang your coat over there," he said, pointing at a coatrack right next to the exit. "I'll go ahead."

You went to the rack, took off your coat and hung it up. While doing so, a thousand thoughts ran through your mind. You still didn't understand why Mengele was being so nice to you. After all, you were still nothing more than a little guinea pig he could use for his purpose. But you felt like you were pretty close to him now. But... what if that's exactly the whole point of it? What if he's just trying to get me to trust him, so I'm not afraid the next time I get a syringe or worse? Your heart stopped at the thought, so you pushed it away quickly.

You went over to the table where Mengele had already taken a seat. You did the same and sat down in front of him. He took both of your hands and smiled. You blushed slightly and smiled back.

"Well, how do you like it here, (Y/N)? I often go here after work," he said. "It's one of my favorite restaurants."

"It's... it's beautiful, Doct– uh, I mean Josef... Thank you so much for taking me here," you answered.

"No problem."

You remembered that you wanted to ask him something. "I... I saw that Iron Cross on your uniform... and I've always wondered... what do you get that for?"

Mengele smiled. "For a brave action with no regard for your own life. It's a pretty high achievement. I got my first one three years ago, then last year the 1st Class one for saving two of our people from a burning tank at the eastern front." He seemed very pleased with himself as he said that.

You were impressed. "Oh... that was indeed very brave of you... I-I'd like to know more about you... How did you get here, and what did you do before?"

"Well... I was assigned to work here last year because I was wounded in the field, so I couldn't fight anymore. Before joining the army four years ago, I studied medicine and philosophy. That's how I got my doctor's degree. My father actually wanted me to take over our family factory, but I wasn't interested in that. I've always wanted to be an anthropologist, and now that I am one, I'm proud of myself."

Yes... and you kill innocent people, you thought sadly. A little while later, the waiter came with the menu.