Boreo Smut

-a letter-

The seal of the envelope is broken. He opens the letter, observing it. Grazing his thumb other the writing that read 'Boris' with a heart beside it on the front.
Debating whether or not to read it's contents. But he is swayed to the idea of needing closure.

So his shaky hand slowly unfolds the note,
And his eyes begin traveling side to side, reading the text in front of him.

'When I see you, everything stops mid second. My breath hitches, and my heart beats like a pounding drum. Every part of my existence craving your lust and affection. But the good times we have together turn to old memories, and begin to fade. Slowly crumbling into particles of dust that I can't piece together anymore. Holding them takes two, but I'm left standing on my own. Your presence is no longer intertwined with mine. I'm not good enough. The whispers between my ears remind me of that daily. But it doesn't erase the idea of you in my head. Leaving a numbing feeling because now I know that nothing can change it. Nothing will allow me to close the gap between our skin. That gap has made its mark. A waterproof mark that can't be removed by any amount of my tears.

The beating of my heart turns into an ache. Though I'm still blinded by this warm feeling in my stomach that appears anytime I lay eyes on you. Not allowing me to forget you. Keeping this idealistic idea in my head. Of your arms wrapped around me. The contact of your supple lips grazing against mine. So now I'm torn. Torn between both ends of the tunnel. Even though I know which would lead to a dead end. But it's ok. Without this loneliness, the fluttering I felt inside my heart at first wouldn't seem as magical in comparison.

You taught me the feeling of love, but with it came the reoccurring emptiness.

I guess not all love feels the same. I'm sure your love for her hits different. She's always on your mind, though, I can't help you being on mine. I wish that was me. But I now know that's not how the world works. You choose your one person, so you decided to pick her. She makes you happy, I can tell. And I want you to be happy. Knowing that your heart feels the same as mine once did means the world to me. I just wish that your heart would feel that way about me. The contradicting numbness and colour throughout my small body makes me hurt. I don't know if I can handle it anymore.

Well, I know I can't.
That's why you're reading this.

I don't want you to think of it as your fault. It's not. Loving me shouldn't be your responsibility. It was up to me to take the pain. But I'm just weak. Weak from all this disappointment. Weak from all of the ideas I've embedded into my mind, knowing that they can't be recreated out in the real world. And that's on me. But now you get to be free. You can forget about it all. Move on. I'm sure you and her will end up having an amazing future. And you can't even begin to understand how happy I am for you. Just because I'm not happy for myself doesn't mean I shouldn't want the best for you. No matter what, I will always keep the happy times with me, and now it's your turn to make your own.

It's ok that the feeling I have isn't reciprocated. I know it isn't. The love I have for you is the reason your happiness means more to me than my own. And that happiness lies in her.

Thank you for teaching what love is like. I've held these memories, and taken them out on rainy days. But this time, it's a storm. And that's ok. Sometimes storms sweep things away and they never come back. But life moves on. That's what I want you to do. Move on. Don't let me affect what you have. Because what you have is precious. The feeling you now hold used to be mine. So hold onto it tight. I know from experience that it's a very slippery object.

Without you, I don't think I would've ever gotten to truly experience love.
So thank you.

I know that the feeling won't change once I'm gone. I hope that this made it easier. Because as long as you are happy, everything else means nothing.

I love you.'
____________________________________

Silence filled the empty space. Dried tears coated Boris's cheeks, while a new one trickled down. Dripping onto the paper he held beneath him.

He folds the paper back up, sliding it back into the envelope and into his pocket. He sniffles and wiped away the tears onto the sleeve of his army green jacket.

After composing himself, he makes his way into room 107.

That's when he sees him. Theo helplessly laying on the hospital bed. You wouldn't even be able to recognize his face under all the wires and neck brace.

Boris pulls a chair and takes a seet beside him. Laying his hand onto Theo's.

"You're gonna be ok." Boris whispers.
He feels a the grip on his hand stiffen as Theo grabs on tighter.

Everything is going to be ok.
"I promise."

HEY GUYS.
I just wanna start off by addressing the long ass break I took. I just needed time to my self. I needed to take a break because school was just getting very stressful, and on top of that I had to quit my job, etc. I was just a lot to handle.
So I wasn't able to write the "long ass update" for the 10k special. And I am very sorry for that.

Btw, this was inspired by a caption I saw on Instagram, but I forgot who the account was!!! So if you know, lmk and I'll tag them!

But I am SO proud of this chapter. LIKE EXTREMELY.
This is my favourite thing I've ever written. And I know it's very sad. But I guess it's just because I was sad, so it developed into a depressing 'suicide' story.

But I'm just overall very proud of the writing itself and I hope that you guys like it.

So I guess this was the special.
I can't thank you guys enough for all the support on this story. I honestly Am so thankful that you guys have been reading, voting and commenting. It means the world.

So thank you guys so much for reading. And I'll see you in the next update.
Bye, love you <3