Dear me, this is me from the past, as you are now in the present, but also for you in the future.
We know it all hurts too much right now. However, you know you must endure this extended period of pain for the time being. Regret is heavy, but admittance to fault lessens the weight. We cannot blame the blameless because of our own delusional self-denial. Do not deny your part. Your time this summer was one filled with delusional bliss, which was undeniably enjoyed to the fullest, but note: you are a creature now filled with a concoction of confusion and understanding. Rest easy knowing you made the decision to jump into the arms of a strange boy with curly hair and fake teeth. He is a magician, but an honest one at that. He did not enchant you with deceitful promises of what you already knew he couldn't fulfill. He and I are puzzle pieces not meant to be shaven down and altered to fit one another. He and I were a mistake, but a predestined (exchange) in the progress of time. We are "experiences" to one another and he was, sadly, your first. But on the down-low... What a fantastic first!
You now have scars made from a love too lovely. Now you get to learn how to walk away and live alone again. The first week you did it all. Everything one could experience slowly through a life of love was laid into your lap and you indulged.
Remember the pain of loving someone so far away? We have done it before and we will do it again. But never forget that you want your own family, with someone who values your values and appreciates what you appreciate in life. Therefore, with a friendly and understanding word, I close my letter to you. It will be a long time before you touch another love and feed your hunger. But wait, dear me! Hold on to the hope of education, experience, and children! May God forgive your wretched and filthy soul.
- be soft and lovely. curb your anger. use the things He has shown you in the past.
