Lustful Wars | p•jm ✓

•fifty four•

"Especially by the hand of me. He really pushed me to the edge until I finally shot him." You say, your eyes ablaze as your voice falls quieter. "But he's not dead."

Jimin couldn't find the sense to understand you or what you meant. Which hurt him the most, he wanted to unfailingly be the person who always understood you. Maybe it's the grief talking but whatever it is, he lets it happen. Everyone's allowed to grieve. 

When they start to pile soil onto the coffin, you flinch, each loud thud of the dirt digging a hole in you. Jimin feels you flinch, putting an arm around you and holding you closer to him. "It's okay, baby." He rubs the side of your arm, placing a kiss on your head.

It isn't but his warm words still mean something to you. You close your wide awake eyes and rest your head against his chest, seeking comfort that he willingly gave to you. 

In the end, it is better like this. There were times you question yourself but then immediately shot those questions down for being ridiculous. No doubt, you are undeniably grateful that Jimin is the one who survived, the one who will really matter to you in ten years time. 

But then again, no doubt, Jungkook should have never died. You should have never killed him. The two of you should have never been in that position. But you were and this is the reality you're faced with now.

You expected to run out of tears by now but slowly they start to fall again, one by one, dripping off the edge of your jaw as they travel across your frozen cheeks. 

Over and over again, you go back and think what you could have done differently, whether there was anyway you could have prevented it. As big of a monster you had always believed he would be, you never imagined this would happen. You just never saw it coming.

The free limp hand on your other side is taken by someone else, letting their own gloved hands let you know they're here for you too. You shift your head, eyes falling upon your best friend.

Hoseok looks heartbroken when he sees the tears and quickly steals you away from Jimin, pulling you into the deepest hug. Yoongi stands beside Hoseok, exchanging small sad smile with Jimin. 

When the coffin is finally buried, you make a sudden turn to go, not saying goodbye as you're unable to stay one more second in this suffering place. 

Leaving Jimin's and Hoseok's side abruptly, they both turn, startled by your sudden action. 

You expect them to catch up soon, worriedly asking where you're going. Walking away from the rest of the crowd, you don't stop moving your feet with no sense of direction or purpose. You curse yourself for wearing heels as they continuously sink into the damp soil, making your escape harder than it should be.

Amid your silent tears and broken heart shattering to smaller and smaller pieces, a deep and calm voice calls.

"Excuse me, ma'am?"

You halt your footsteps, lifting your head to see two tall men approaching. Appropriately, they're also dressed in black and you're guessing they must be here for a funeral. You just can't guess whether it's for Jungkook or not.

"Do I know you?" You ask, the words coming out harsher than you expect as you have no strength to be polite today. 

One of them looks more familiar than the other so you eye the other one peculiarly.

"Yes, ma'am. We met before at the hospital. This is my co-worker." The familiar one answers, eyebrows furrowed as he sniffs. Your stare shifts to him as he continues. "I'm the policeman working on the recent case involving Jungkook and you."

"Oh." You say, dropping your gaze. You didn't even know that there is a case, you didn't know there's anything more to go on now that he's dead. 

But even when he's just a ghost on your shoulder, Jeon Jungkook still manages to cause trouble for you.

The other man finally speaks, raising his voice to get your attention. "Ma'am."

You raise your head, absent mindedly scowling at him. 

"We need to talk."

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RIP Jungkook. You were a beautifully messed up character 🖤