i hate u, i love u (Taehyung ff)

The divorce

"I'm sorry." The doctor shook his head & sighed.
"W-what? What are you saying?" Your heart dropped, your legs felt weak in an instant. If Taehyung hadn't supported you, you would've fallen onto the cold hard floor.
"The hemorrhage in her brain was too severe. We tried all we could but she passed away from too much blood loss. I'm really sorry.." The doctor bowed at you apologetically & walked away.
Your world shattered. Kang jibsa, she was the one who always cheered on you, gave you hope & cared for you since you moved into that house. Now she was gone, forever, because of you.
The last thing you saw was the blinding light in the hospital ceiling, before the room span & everything went black in an instant.

You woke up gasping as if you had been suffering from a bone-chilling nightmare.
"Ma'am, please calm down. You're safe. Do you remember where you are?" The nurse rushed to your side & held your hand.
"H-How long have I been out?" You stuttered as you pulled the blanket higher to your chin.
"About 50 minutes. Your blood pressure was so low, have you not been eating well? You should take better care of your body especially now that you're carrying a baby inside you."
My baby. You suddenly remembered.
"Is my baby ok?"
"Yes, fortunately, but you should eat healthier foods & refrain from situations that would give you too much stress." She said as she checked your vitals.
Smiling, you caressed your belly & silently thanking God for keeping your baby safe.
"Was anyone here with me?" You scanned the room but Taehyung was nowhere to be seen.
"Your husband was here but he said he was going out to make some calls. He was so worried when you fainted, but it seemed like he didn't know about your pregnancy. You haven't told him?"
Her simple question brought you to tears. You were so conflicted inside that you didn't know what to do. On one hand, you hated him so much for what he'd done to you & even more for Kang jibsa's death . If he hadn't let Eunbi stay in the house, you wouldn't have gotten into an altercation with her & Kang jibsa wouldn't have been involved.
On the other hand, somehow you still loved him & he was indeed the baby's father, he did have a right to know. You were sure that he would be happy if you told him about the pregnancy. But until when? Until you made a mistake & angered him again? Would he then punish you & hurt you like he'd done before? How could you carry & bring up a child in such constant fear of your own husband?
"I'm so sorry, did I step over the line? Should I call your husband?" The nurse patted your shoulder in concern, breaking your daze.
"No no, it's ok. I have a favor to ask though, can you please not tell anyone about my pregnancy? I want to deliver the good news on my own." You forced out a thin smile on your chapped lips.
"Oh yes sure, I understand. I'll come back to check on you again later. In the meantime, if you need anything, just press this button ok?"
You nodded without saying anything.
She seemed to sense your distress, so she came back again to your side.
"Ma'am, I'm not sure what you're going through, but you're going to be a mom soon. If you need to decide on anything, think about what's best for your baby. I wish you luck, I'm sure you'll be a great mom." She squeezed your hand & smiled gently at you before walking out of the room.
You pondered on her advice, then made a decision on what you needed to do.
The sound of door opening made you look up. Taehyung's eyes widened as he saw you sitting down on the bed.
"You're awake! Thank God. I was so scared that something bad would happen to you. How are you feeling?" He rushed to your side & stroked your hair.
You flinched at his touch & turned your head the other way.
"What's wrong?" Noticing your dire mood, he asked.
"You haven't answered my question earlier." You said without looking at him.
"Which question?" He looked at you in confusion.
"If this incident with Kang jibsa hadn't happened, would you have continued ignoring me & using Eunbi to hurt me? Would you even listen to my explanation about Jin?" You asked him in a deadpan expression as you stared at him right in the eyes.
He averted his gaze & clenched his jaws at the mention of Jin's name.
"Can we not talk about that? It was all in the past anw. I've forgiven you for any wrongdoings you did."
"You've forgiven me? You haven't even listened to my explanation yet you've judged that I did something wrong to you. That day, Jin was just-"
"Stop. I don't want to know." He said through gritted teeth.
"Would you just listen to me? It was all a misunderstanding! I didn't cheat on you! He-"
"Y/n, stop! Don't you think you've hurt me enough? I told you I'd forgiven you, what else do you want from me?" He frustratedly rise from his seat & pushed his hair back.
"I hurt you? Have you ever thought how much you've hurt me?! You kissed a girl right in front of me! Your wife! And you told her that I was a maid!"
"I-I acted out of impulse, I only wanted you to feel what I felt when I saw you with him."
"What about Kang jibsa? Don't you feel guilty at all? You indirectly caused her death."  You could feel the small strand of hope you were holding onto was slowly breaking.
"What? Me? I wasn't even there! How can you blame me for that?" His statement was the final blow. You'd completely lost your hope in him.
"It's always going to be like this, isn't it? You won't ever listen to anyone but yourself. How can you be so selfish?" You sighed as tears rolled down your face.
"Selfish? I think you need to calm down, I'll leave you alone for now." He grabbed the door handle & was about to pull it open when your words stopped him.
"Let's get a divorce." You said.
You'd given him a chance to prove you wrong, but he failed it. Your trust & patience on him had been exhausted. He had no ability to listen, to understand, to forgive. You believed it would be best for your baby if you brought it up yourself instead of entrusting both your lives in his hands.
"W-what?" Taehyung slowly turned around & asked in disbelief.
"I said, let's get a div-" You exhaled loudly.
"Why? Is it because of that Jin bastard? Are you leaving me for him?!" He looked so angry that you trembled in fear, but you tried to appear as calm as possible.
"I told you it had nothing to do with him! It was all a mis- huhh.. Taehyung ah, we can't continue living like this. You can't trust me, no matter how much I love you or care for you, one small mistake then you'll punish me without even listening to my explanation. I've had enough. And.. I still can't forgive you about Kang jibsa." You tried to explain, but you knew from the look in his eyes that his brain couldn't process your words.
"Liar. I know that's not the real reason. All of you women are the same. You think you can play with someone's heart & leave when you find someone better." You could tell that he was deeply hurt & it pained you.
"Taehyung ah.." All you wanted to do was hug him & tell him that everything was fine, but you couldn't. For the sake of your baby.
"Fine! I'll grant your wish. Don't think that I'll beg you to stay, coz I won't. And don't ever call me again, contact my lawyer for the divorce process."
He took out a name card from his wallet & threw it at you before he stormed out the door.
Once he was gone, all of your suppressed tears flowed out of your eyes. You mourned for Kang jibsa's untimely death, for your separation from Taehyung, & for your baby who might not get to know its father ever. The pain was so deep that you felt as if someone really cut your heart with a knife.
"Y/n ah..." A tender voice calling out your name stopped you from crying momentarily.
"Eomma!" Waves of fresh tears washed over your face as you saw your mom rushing towards you.
"Oh my baby, it's ok. Eomma's here now. I came right after you called me. Shhh... don't cry." She hugged you & patted your back gently like she always had done when you were little.
You bawled your eyes out & cried into her chest until you had no tears left. Then you slowly told her everything, from the beginning to the end, without leaving anything out.
"Oh my God. Baby, I'm so sorry for not being there with you when all these atrocious things were happening to you. I'm sorry for betrothing you to him, I thought you'd be in good hands." Her eyes glistened with tears.
"Eomma, what should I do now? What's going to happen to my baby?"
"Don't worry, I will always support you. Come back home with me, I'll help you raise the baby." She said as she stroked your hair.
"Eomma.." You hugged her tight, feeling safe in her embrace, but the gaping void inside you where Taehyung used to occupy still left you empty.
I guess I won't see him ever again.

And you were right.
He never showed up in front of you again after that day, not when you were discharged from the hospital, not when you paid your last respect to Kang jibsa at her wake in the funeral home.
Well, you did catch a glimpse of him, but he left right after you arrived without even glancing at you.
You never stepped foot inside Taehyung's house again because you were scared of meeting him, so you left all of your belongings there. Maybe he'd already thrown them away anyway.
Right after you signed the divorce papers, you went back to your hometown with your mom. This chapter of your life had officially ended & you were not sure whether you looked forward to the next one.