How to Save a Star [BxB]

V

Chapter Five

Yeren's words continued to echo in my head before they finally sank in. I stare at him for a moment as silence enveloped the room. No words followed. No more steps. Only we were there, standing side by side. His words were puzzling and I couldn't grasp the real meaning behind them.

His lips parted into soft snickers. "I think you're getting the wrong idea," he said in between. "I told you that I'm searching for a roommate this coming sem so I'm asking if you could be my roommate."

His words hung for a moment.

"Well, you made it sound like, you know, something. Something like... Ah..." I grunted and turned away. "This is embarrassing."

He laughed louder, "Like a marriage proposal?"

I turned away even further, my cheeks and ears were hot.

"Why are you so self-conscious? I'm the one who said it. Unless you're starting to like... me?" he said playfully, making me more embarrassed than I already was.

I closed my eyes, clenching my fist with all my might. I wanted to deny it but the feelings were already there. "Perhaps, I am," I whispered in a very low voice making sure he didn't hear them.

His grip suddenly loosened so that I was forced to look back. His eyes were moving around, avoiding mine, his face and ears colored in deep red. "This is getting out of hand," he muttered, shaking his head.

"Did you hear it?" I hesitantly asked.

Every part of me was hotter than any time of my life when he nodded. My heart drum pounded, carrying adrenaline to my body. I turned away as we stride to the bed. We didn't say anything, we were too embarrassed. The moment I laid on the bed, I immediately pulled the sheets on my face. No one spoke after that, a deafening silence crept over like I was the only person existing in that room. My sense of time drifted away behind the sheets. Everything went in a flash as I wanted it to be. I didn't know how many minutes or hours had passed when he heaved a sigh.

"I'm afraid that maybe... Maybe the feeling is mutual," he said, his voice filled with tremors and uncertainty.

I removed the sheet, realizing that he was sitting on the floor, his head barely visible. "Don't you think it's creepy?"

"What do you mean?"

"We're both guys. Doesn't it bother you?"

"Ah..." He nodded though I couldn't see any facial reaction. "How do I say it?" He sucked in a deep breath and stood as he pulled a chair underneath. He sat, his lower back leaned at the edge of the bed. His gaze staring somewhere, the door or the plain white wall? I didn't know. "I'm not bothered. I mean, I see nothing wrong about it."

He arched backward and turned his head to me, then went back to his original position. "Does it bother you?"

"It does." A deep breath left my mouth as I searched for the right words. "I'll admit that I am no religious person but... But something is not right. And..." I slowly closed my eyes, opened it again, then looked away in the opposite direction. "We just met, yet I feel this strong attraction towards you. I can't understand how this is even possible."

I had never been more honest in my life when I said those words. There was neither embarrassment nor hesitance in my voice. It was like a confession but we never minded. He never did. As if there was a string holding us together, making it easier for us to understand.

"Ian," he called, his voice was velvety that I peeked without thinking, his face turned sideways.

A half-smile formed in his lips. "Why does religion matter when people feel strong attraction for another? I have never believed in a personal God..." His brows crumpled together, his left hand rubbing his nape. "But even if there is one out there, how do we know that he hates this kind of feeling?" He captured my eyes. "Many people are so engrossed with their lives after death that they're forgetting to live their lives. Our lifespan is very short, we gotta make the most out of it. Follow your heart, follow where it leads you to happiness."