My Marvel Academia (Season 1)

Chapter 51

As if he had been electrocuted, Izuku shot upright in his bed. He was trembling and started to cry, uncontrollably the fear of that dream was all too real to deal with. Even though it had been a couple of days since the incident, a couple of days since they won. It didn't feel like a victory. Without thinking Izuku is on his feet and looking in the mirror he has in his room."You look like a mess," he says to his reflection.

He had bags under his eyes, the black highlights in his hair stand out like a sore thumb. His skin is pale like a ghost and his freckles look more like some sort of disease than part of his normal appearance. He then turns the light on the lamp that was on his desk and started to tinker on his web-shooters, then he tried mixing different chemicals to make a variety of web fluids. When he was satisfied he got dressed and went to the roof to stare into the night then he went web-slinging.

This was his pattern for the rest of the week. He never showed how he felt to his classmates who came over to hang out or Aunt Inko cause he thought they wouldn't understand how he felt. On the final night before school came back from break, Izuku was sitting on the roof thinking about his current mental state.  

"I will become stronger."

How though? You're a mess. How can you save anyone else? If you can't even save yourself?

As he was thinking he heard footsteps. He turned around to see that it was Ochaco.

"Hey, Ochaco."Izuku smiled, but Ochaco instantly recognized he was hiding something. Despite his efforts to look fine during the week, he couldn't hide the red in his eyes or the bags beneath them. Noticing the expression on her face, a flicker of concerned danced across his face.

"Are you alright?"

"Are you?"

Izuku lowered his head as she asked him that. Ochaco lowered herself to where Izuku was sitting, her heart rate increased as she placed one arm around his shoulders. Focussing for a moment on the feeling of his body, she wondered how one person could feel so warm and comforting. Immediately she felt something else. She could feel the almost imperceptible trembling across his body. Refocusing on the task at hand, she took a deep breath.

"Izuku look at me."His head turned slightly just enough to allow for eye contact. 

"Tell me what's wrong with you."

 "I take it I can't lie about how  I'm feeling?"

 "Not a chance in the world."

 Izuku then took a deep breath. "Ok I admit it I'm a piping hot mess. It's been going on for a while, I haven't said anything. Nothing's been the same since Avenger's Tower. You experience things and then they're over and you still can't explain 'em.  I...I'm just a kid with powers. The only reason I haven't cracked up is probably.....cause I was able to save you from getting shot. Which is great.  But, Ochaco, I can't sleep. When y'all go to bed I do what I know, I tinker. I do this cause I'm scared. scared about the villains out there. What happens if I'm against someone to strong for me. People could die....you could die." 

As he finishes letting everything out he starts to cry. Ochaco reacts instantly, by wrapping her arms around his back and placing his head into the crock of his neck."It's okay Wall-Crawler. I am right here." Ochaco says rubbing his back in circles, slowly calming Izuku down."I feel so broken, I feel like I can't be put back together, "Izuku admits."It's ok, just keep going, "Ochaco says as her voice forces Izuku to gaze into her eyes."In my nightmares people just came up to me, asking me why I can't save them, "Izuku cry's out, "How can I be a hero if I can't even save myself? When I can't even get to sleep at night?"