2 8 | D E V I L ' S T A N G O

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2 8 | D E V I L ' S  T A N G O

joe

As long as I can

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As long as I can.

What an interesting thought that is, Leila. Not a forever, but a reasonable promise. To love someone as long as your body and soul will allow is, well, freeing because it's not bogged down with something as impossible as a 'forever'.

I will love you as long as I can, Leila. That, I can promise. For however long my mind, body, and soul will let me.

And it's fascinating to me how open and honest you've tried to be with me since the moment we met. The little lies you sprinkled into our relationship were, at the time, necessary, but you came clean on your own. Without prompt. Which is more than I can say for most people.

You have always been like that. Reasonable, in your own mind. Putting others needs above your own until they have to force you to take care of yourself.

You are as honest as you can be, gentle, non-threatening, and maybe just a little bit chaotic in your own way. But it's a chaos I'll welcome openly because as you stumble into a deep sleep on my lap, I can't help falling in love with you all over again. 

And, my God! What a beautiful disaster you are. As your chest rises and deflates slowly and rhythmically, the honey lavandar of your hair overwhelming my senses. Tempting me in ways I couldn't possibly describe to you-

God! What a whirlwind you've put us both through!

I'll be the first to admit I didn't understand when you told me you couldn't love me the way I wanted to three months ago. I thought I did, honestly. But hearing from your lips, in your trembling voice the terror that prick put you through- well, it's more than I can bare.

And you've coped so well for so long on your own. Not unlike another Delilah I met such a long time ago. I couldn't save her, but maybe-

I shake the thought from my head before it can fully form. I don't like making promises I can't keep. And all I can say is that I'll to my damnedest to protect you from everything and everyone who might try hurt you.

And, yes. Before you ask, that means Tate, too.

Leila, you are more to me than sex. Yes, I've dreamed of showing you- a practical virgin- how pure and untainted and freeing sex can be since the moment I met you, but this- all of this- all of you. Your essence. It's-

Worth it.

You are worthy of love.

You moan and curl up into a ball. Your body shivers like you're cold which tells me you don't want to be disturbed for quite some time. I nod knowing the level of courage it took for you to approach me today must have been too much and find myself peeling you away from me to retrieve a blanket from the closet.

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