Last July

Chapter forty five

"I'm sorry" I whispered. "That your having problems with your relationship"

I was repeating myself over and over but he still held me in his strong arms. In that moment, I felt something pass between us slowly before it grew. I finally felt andrew, the one behind the "okay" mask. I held him, reassuring him that he'll be fine.
" Dont worry about it" he whispered back. "It's not your fault"

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When Andrew left me for the morning I went straight to bed. I didn't check on Phillisa since it was after eight in the morning and knowing her, if she wasn't already in the kitchen, she wasn't out of bed yet. Our vacation would soon be over I realized and everything would go back to normal. I'd go back to my lonely apartment with my desk filled with grunched up papers of default stories filled with the aroma of black coffee, the sound of cars zooming by and the reality of what I had left behind started to sink in slowly. I was scared, seriously scared and I doubt there was much to be had about it. My temporary abandonment of my life at would swiftly culminate at the end of July. Everything I've done here, knew, experience would be lost in memory.

I woke up, my feet pulled up to my chin staring through the window watching a paradox. Rain. There was actually rain outside today. I watched the drops almost invisible appearing and disappearing. It's origin unknown, it's destination still unclear. I felt lonely staring out there. I only realised I haven't even got to talk with my best friend these last few days when I felt her next to me on the bed. Hadn't even seen her either. I was probably the worst friend of all being this indifferent to everything around me, yet caring for someone of my polar opposite that I couldn't possibly have. I laid back beside Phillisa pulling her hand over my shoulder for comfort and she ruffled my hair before whispering that she missed me too.

I didn't expect to see Andrew again when I returned to the lake after three. Yet there he was sitting staring out like a lost kid. There was a bottle of alcohol beside him I noticed drawing nearer to the board walk. When my feet pressed against the old creaking boards he looked up distracting himself from his thoughts. For a moment he seemed worried, his eyebrows furrowed creating wrinkled lines in his forehead but after a while he looked away then got up. Andrew was different, he didn't speak much, he hid alot of things from the world, maybe even from those around him and though he always claimed I was an annoyance I never really heard him complain about much. Maybe that was the problem, he kept everything in. Maybe this was where he let it out after a while, with an entire bottle of liquor that is. He got up taking the bottle by the neck, he hadn't started drinking I noticed, maybe that was a good sign.

"Out here again?" I asked as he neared me.

" Yeah, needed some time on my own"

"Oh, sorry for the disturbance then"

"Yeah, whatever" he said waving me off.

I turned watching him walk away, but then I noticed he wasn't heading out from the boat house, he was going back into the pine filled forest. Alone.

"Andrew!"

He stopped. His head still positioned in the direction of his destination. I don't know but something definitely felt uncomfortable seeing him like that at the moment and the bottle of whiskey wasn't helping the situation either. His body seemed tense for some reason likewise. I took a deep breath. I was stepping into uncharted waters and you know what they said about stepping into the unknown.

"Do you want some company?"

" Yeah, that's probably a good idea"

We didn't talk about anything specifically. Actually I was the one doing the talking. All he did was say yes and no. His back was turned to me, his shoulders slumped and I thought for some strange reason he was probably crying or drinking but didn't want me to see. I should have known better. When I got up from my seat to peek at what he was doing, I went back to sit. He was doodling in the ground with a stick, rather much distracting himself from either me or his thoughts. The sun started to set not long after and with the sun gone, the remnants of the rain earlier brought on a chilly wind. There wasn't much of a moonlight tonight and there was no stars in the sky either. As if nature had thought to be reclusive suddenly. I looked over at Mr. Grimm who wasn't as grouchy tonight. His previously messy hair was back to normal I noticed. I wanted to talk, get him to talk about what was bothering him, like the way he got me to talk about my problems. A futile effort. Something as simple as his age he refused to let me know, then sensibly I didn't need to think twice to know if he had complications, especially if it really had anything to do with his girlfriend, I wasn't ever going to know.