DRIVETHRU [yoonmin]

35.

Jimin woke up sweating in bed. He uncovered himself and sighed annoyed. His body felt hot and bothered.

The clock read 3:14 a.m. He was thankful that he didn't have the work next day otherwise he'd be a zombie. His mouth was dry, so he got up to get some water.

He made his way to the kitchen and opened the fridge. There, he saw a few cans of beer, Pepsi, and finally bottles of water.

He grabbed the water and took a seat in the chair chugging it all down within seconds. After he was done he took a deep breath relieved.

Then, he spotted a fruit basket in the middle of the table. He proceeded to take an apple and started eating it.

It wasn't until his third bite when he heard fast breathing. He gulped and got up setting the apple down on the table.

The breaths kept getting louder when he got closer to the living room. At first, he thought the breaths were coming from a porn vide or something, but he soon recognized the panic.

"Yoongi?" He whispered.

He gasped as he saw his silhouette in front of him. "S-sorry. Did I wake you up?" He asked with a shaky breath. 

"No. I woke up myself. I just heard you in from the kitchen. What's wrong?" He asked stepping closer.

Yoongi was struggling to breathe and Jimin got scared. "Are you okay? What's wrong? What's the matter?" He asked sitting beside him.

"Nothing. It's just...sometimes I get anxiety attacks during the night. I'm trying to prevent one, but my mind is racing and I feel like I'm underwater unable to breathe even though I know I'm not."

"It's okay. Take a deep breath." Jimin cooed. He reached over to grab his hand and Yoongi felt much better.

He closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing. It took a few minutes, but he managed to stabilize his racing heart.

"Do you feel better?" He wondered.

"Much better. Thank you."

"You know, at the clinic we see a lot of patients with anxiety and some of them have told me methods they use to calm down while having an attack. One of them says that he looks at the stars and that calms him down. Another says he holds small rocks in his hands and that helps him. What usually makes you feel better?"

"You."

Jimin raised his eyebrows shocked. Yoongi quickly started speaking again to not creep him out.

"You make me feel safe and like I'm not a freak. Being with my friends helps me forget about my problems. But, they're not always with me and I can't always forget it."

"I'm glad I make it better and that your friends help you too, but you have to find something that doesn't involve a person. Even though I live with you that doesn't mean we're together 24/7. Like right now, I was eating an apple unaware that you were about to have an anxiety attack. Let's find something to help you when your friends or me are not around. Okay?"

"Okay." He responded quietly.

They stood silent for a while until Jimin heard soft sniffles. "What's wrong? Why're you crying?" He asked worried.

"It's just...I don't want you to feel responsible for me. You were right and this whole idea of you moving in isn't going to work out. You'll see me and my anxiety attacks and my compulsive OCD and then you're going to feel like you need to be here because you help me. I can't let you feel that way. You don't deserve it. You need to live without feeling like I'm going to die without you because I won't. I like you and I would literally give my left nut to be liked by you too, but I've managed to be without you for a while and I can do it if you want to leave. I won't force you to be here anymore and I'll stop insisting."

Jimin smiled and wrapped his arms around him. Yoongi was startled by the action but instantly melted into the hug.

"You just proved to me why I should be here. I didn't come because I felt forced to. I came because I wanted to. And I'm sorry I've been shutting you down so bad. I'm just scared myself. I've never really been into guys and it's a different feeling."

"So you're saying that you're not here because you feel obligated to?" He sobbed.

"No, I promise." He said comforting the older. Yoongi snuggled closer to his chest like a baby looking for warmth.

It took him a few minutes to stop crying. Jimin didn't mind it, in fact he thought that crying was necessary at times.

Especially, because he knew that Yoongi wasn't the type to cry all the time. He was always happy and smiling, but that didn't mean he wasn't human. He deserved to cry and feel broken too. He didn't always need to be so strong.

"Let's go to your room. I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."

"You would do that for me?" He asked pulling away and wiping away his tears.

"Of course."

Yoongi got up and held his hand leading him to his room. He didn't bother to turn on the light since he knew the way exactly to his bed.

He then laid down and waited for Jimin to do the same. And he did though he said he wouldn't stay in the same bed as him.

"Why did you get it?"

"I don't know. Sometimes it just happens. That's the thing about anxiety, just when you think you've got it under control it crawls out from the back of your mind and takes control of you. It's a feeling I can't explain. You feel like your heart is racing too fast, your chest feels tight and you honestly feel like you're having a heart attack."

"Do you get them often?"

"Not lately. I've been better with my medication. They kicked me out of my last clinic for being non complaint. I never felt the need to follow the rules and I wanted to do whatever. Which pretty much explains why they did it. In a way I'm thankful however, because I wouldn't have met you then."

"Yes, that's the good thing about it. But it's okay, I'm here now. When you need me I will be here." Jimin smiled. He couldn't see Yoongi's face, but knew that he was smiling as well.

"Can I hold you?" Yoongi wondered.

"Shouldn't I be holding you?"

"I want to feel what it's like to hold somebody. Typically, everyone always holds me because I'm having some mental breakdown. Let me do it instead."

"Okay." He said scooting closer and laying his head on his chest. He made sure to not hurt  his broken arm. He could also hear his heart racing and knew it was because of good reasons.

Yoongi blushed resting his head on top of his and wrapping his arm around him. Jimin wrapped one of his legs on top of his and closed his eyes.

Yoongi didn't fall asleep right away. He wanted to stay like this forever. If he could freeze time he would.

And that's how the first rule was broken.