CONSUME

03.

Despite the false sense of security small towns provided with, it was stupid to walk alone. Esther had been taught to not walk home alone at night ever since she was a child, or walk with the wrong person for that matter. It was something that was rooted deeply in her chest, having heard the same thing over and over again while continuously getting proof of it. It was known that bad things could happen to girls and boys when walking home alone, when it should be that very bad things happens to predators when walking anywhere alone.
She didn't want to break the golden rule but she wasn't left with much of a choice since she lived alone and didn't own a car or a bike. The only thing she could do was walk fast and pray silently in her head, despite not quite sure if she was a very religious person.

With fear in her chest and keys pushing into her palm, she walked faster and faster. The fear felt more physical then it normally used to. It was an odd fear, being different to the fears she was used to. It was the strange sensation of being an open target about to get struck down. It felt like around every corner there was something waiting to attack and she was walking straight into the arms of danger. It was much like being hunted by a prey, only not knowing something was hunting you but having the odd feeling of it.

Her heart began to pound faster as a sound erupted behind her, it sounded like footsteps. For a second she wondered why another human would cause such fear in her chest, then she began to doubt that the fear would be there for nothing. Her head began to spin with possibilities of what could be behind her, or if her mind was playing a way too real trick on her. For a split moment she was conflicted, it was hard to decide whether what she felt was imaginative fear or real fear. The two could be awfully alike she had learned. It felt like she was standing before a threat that she couldn't physically see, she could feel it but not see it and therefore couldn't decide if it was real or not.

The tone rung in her ear and the seconds passed slowly. "Hello?" Eva's tired voice spoke, her voice resembling the one of a long time smoker.

"Can you please talk with me while I walk home? Usually I can handle it alone but it's really dark and my mind's going crazy." Esther spoke, shocked at her scared tone and finding herself speaking much more timidly then she used to. A string of curses could be heard over the phone and Esther's eyes flew open in shock at the brutal curses that left the woman's mouth, the fact that she was walking alone obviously angering her. The woman rarely cursed, but when she did she cursed worse then a sailor.

"I don't like you walking home alone Esther, at least not without protection. I've read that you can get your hands on real strong pepper spray trough some website,"Eva spoke, the sound of her fingers rapidly hitting a keyboard in the background, "Here, its not that expensive and shipping only takes three business days." The lightness of her tone and the little sound that followed signaled that an item had been added to her cart.

"I don't need pepper spray." Esther sighed and glanced wearily around. She did not want to believe that she needed a precaution such as pepper spray but deep down she knew that she would feel much safer with something to use as proper weapon.

"I talked with officer Reid, you know he knows a lot about self defense, we had a quite interesting conversation about how more and more crime appears in smaller towns." She rambled, "He's such a fine man, I do believe he knows what he's talking about." Esther wondered why everyone spoke so highly of the officer, knowing they wouldn't do the same if he wasn't handsome and didn't have a badge.  Despite having proof, everything in her body screamed at her that there were something sinister with the officer.

"He did mention you," Esther froze as Eva talked, "If only you were some years older I would believe he had quite the soft spot for you." The woman chuckled for herself while Esther frowned, wondering what 'soft spot' could be interpreted as.

"He's the friendly neighborhood cop so I would be shocked if he went around bad mouthing people, at least loud enough for people to hear." With that being said Esther wanted to leave the subject, not knowing why he was brought up in the first place. While Eva began to drone on over the town's next event, Esther slipped back to where she was. The abnormal feeling of being a target was still sticking onto her like glue and all she could focus on was walking fast and having a tight grip around the steel keys.

While at home, she sat besides her cat on the couch with a bowl of cereal for dinner in her hands, never having been one to cook. She loved food, yet found it incredibly boring to cook. The sound of the tv filled the small apartment and created a sense of pretense comfort, it also made Esther feel less lonely then she was. It hurt to be lonely, it was like an ache that continuously lingered and only seemed to go from tolerable to insufferable. It was like there were a constant lack of something. Sometimes she would wonder when it had begun to feel like this, or if it always had. Being quite introverted it was guaranteed that she hadn't been the loudest or the biggest person in any room throughout her childhood and teenage years. Still, that shouldn't mean that she was meant to be lonely.

Without Eva she wouldn't have anybody really, at least not someone who was lasting. Few people were lasting and that, she knew more than well. Mia would eventually get tired of her or leave to do better things.

On the bright side, she had Leo, the fat tabby that she had rescued two years ago. He was half blind and instead of meowing he did a weird noise that resembled the one a duck would make. All he did was eat and sleep and occasionally he would crave her company, but only for a little while. Without him she would not only be lonely but alone too.

She grabbed Leo and walked trough the narrow hall and into her bedroom. Most nights she would sleep with her window open to let in air, going to open it her eyes landed on a car parked on the street. It was not odd that someone had parked there, but what was odd was the actual car. It stood under one of the huge oak trees that adorned the quiet street and if you looked quickly, you wouldn't see it. It made her heart drop. The logo on it promised safety but she couldn't help but feel like an immense threat was hiding beneath it.

Her hand dropped from the handle and she left the window shut, doing something that she usually wouldn't and pulling down the blinds. Telling herself there could be a dispute or any patrol car, she swallowed the recurring feeling of fright. She crawled into bed and pulled the covers tightly around her, as if it would protect her from the outside world.

For a moment she let herself believe in the false sense of security she had created for herself and let it lull her to sleep, knowing in the back of her mind that it was a big fat lie.

More then a lie, something was wrong.