Finding Love Ain't Easy

The End? Or is it?

After seeing Torrey for the first time in years I realized that I wasn't so numb after finally leaving my previous toxic relationship. I decided to give love a try again but Torrey had changed a lot.  Numerous times he would always be gone when I would want to chill with him. He seemed to didn't really care for me. One day we got into it about him texting other females and he told me straight to my face that we wasn't together and to quit tripping.  For months it was this way and plenty of times I wanted to call it quits, but something deep inside me didn't want to let go of him because he was all I could see myself with. 

With everything into play, I started going back to school and working at the same time.  I was a full time medical receptionist for a small office in Detroit all while trying to get my Nursing Degree. It was pretty tough not having full support from Torrey but I didn't sweat him about it because my daughter wasn't his child but he sure claimed that she was. When it came to finances that was the tough role for us. Torrey was a convicted felon and he would make it seem as if he could never get a job, so he stayed in the streets doing things every night just to provide in his own way. Eventually that started to get to him because the money he would bring home wasn't enough. By him battling his own life issues, I got the raw end of the deal.  I had no one to really vent to accept this one girl who would always stare at me. 
I never knew her real name but didn't really think to ask until one day she mentioned something about her dad abandoning her at a young age.  We became best friends because after working with each other every day, we learned that our stories had quite a few similarities. Like the fact that we are both afraid of being alone, and we can't seem to find our soul mate.

I came home one day from a long day at work. Hopped in the shower and bathed my daughter and got her to bed. I sat at the table and was sipping some Hennessy, well I took quite a few gulps. Them gulps eventually snuck up on me and I went into the room with Torrey to lay down and I ended up blacking out. When I woke up I looked on the floor and seen my shorts.  I looked over at Torrey who appeared to be pissed off and said " why is my shorts on the floor?" He remained silent for about 10 minutes before finally saying. " you telling me you don't remember us fucking about 5 times last night?" I looked at him in his eyes in disbelief because with all honesty I only remembered going to sleep.
I explained to him that I had too much to drink and the only way he forgave me was because he figured that's how I was manipulated and got pregnant in the first place. Which was very true. We moved on from that situation but for a very long time I didn't get drunk and we were both happy I wasn't around some stranger.

I remember going out to Walmart one day with Torrey. We used to always finesse them out of what ever we needed. I walked in one day and just cashed my check but I was still stealing from the store. I checked out my items and proceeded to the exit door and a man walks up with his badge asking to see what's in my bag. We ended up both going to jail. While in jail Torrey was telling the inmates who had to serve our food to pass a message to me that he loved me. I had to laugh because he was so crazy. We ended up going to video court together and he mouthed the words for me to get him out of there. We both had court dates and he had a bond but I didn't. Immediately when I left the jail house, I got my car, and went and bailed him out thru a bail bondsman. He had no way of calling me but then around 9pm he called me and I picked him up half way to our house. We were so happy. Around that time I ended up pregnant with my second child, my baby boy and Torreys Jr. We were so happy but Torrey for some reason couldn't let go of his selfish ways. Still texting females, chilling with them, sleeping around, buying himself new things when our kid needed something, it was so horrible. He eventually started to show his true frustrations. We were arguing about something while I was pregnant and he pushed me and I fell to the ground. After he apologized for it, he actually slapped me several different times after that.  I was to the point of packing my things and leaving him completely alone.

My coworker would come by but not stay for long because it was so awkward because she knew how I was being treated. She explained to me that when she left her toxic relationship she had to move outta the state.  She moved from California with her mom, and was dating some crazy fatal attraction named Lonzo. Boy was that man a nut. She was a strong young girl named Amina who wasn't too far from where I was from.

One day me and Amina had one of our little talks and I had just moved into my new upgraded home with Torrey. Torrey had changed so much but one thing that didn't change was him using his spare time for non sense when he could be out making a honest living. All I could do was pray and pray and pray. Eventually after yet having another son, Gods timing was perfect. We were behind on the bills and Torrey landed a job 4 days after our second son was born. He even changed his attitude when it came to us arguing. Who would've knew after 2 Long years that God would have changed a man that was so deep in the streets, to a honest living, faithful family man? He works miracles. Anyways, Amina mentioned a few things that drew some red flags in my head as far as her past. I shared with her one day about how my dad left me a younger age after selling my sister to his friends for money and eventually moving to California with some lady. Amina laughed at the fact that my dads name was similar to her moms old toxic boyfriend out in California whom she dated on and off for about 14 years after he finally married another woman. When Amina said her name, I almost started screaming in tears. Because not only did she say her first and last name, I soon found out that my dad who had married his side chick, that matched the name she said WAS BOTH OF OUR DAD. Aminas mom was the woman my dad left to California to be with. Amina was so disappointed that her own dad kept us a secret and even sold our sister for money to be with Aminas mom. But she was relieved that he didn't do anything bad to us any more or to her and her mom.
From that day forward I cherished Amina and we were inseparable.

A year had flew by and we were planning on taking a vacation together to our possible next place of residence. Stuck in between Georgia, or Arizona. As we got everything planned out for this amazing vacation I met up with her for breakfast early that morning. Torrey didn't like that we were so close for some odd reason. Amina was confused as to why as well. " hey girl can I use your phone, mine died" I said to Amina. She said yeah and handed me her phone. I went into the bathroom to try and call Torrey and Check to see how they were doing before we left breakfast for our flight. He didn't pick up. So I sent him a text and to my surprise Amina and Torrey had a full conversation. Something in me said read it and you might find out why Torrey don't like her as he says.

" I don't wanna be with her any more, I told her that the other night and she flipped out on me. I rather me and you just move out the state and leave. That way we can just be happy with each other." Torrey said in a most recent text, a text that was so recent she was having this conversation with him just hours before us arriving to breakfast. I sat there in the stall in shock because at this point, somebody had to die. Who was to blame between the two? Not to mention the nudes that was passed between each other, and both of them bad mouthing me. It was clear they had been intimate with each other. Shortly after reading the messages I went back out to her and gave Amina her phone. I was standing behind her and she looked down at the phone and the messages, but as soon as she turned around to look at me to explain....... POW POW! It was blood everywhere and I ran away screaming with the crowd.