𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (Completed)

30. L I S T E N T O M E

IVY'S    P.O.V

I should be relieved. I should feel something. The feeling of his arms wrapped around me, relishing every touch, I should cherish the moment I am in. Instead, I forgot how to feel a very long time ago and I shouldn't be here standing next to him. "No," I mutter, shoving his weight off me. I can't bring myself to look him in the eye to see the rejection he must be feeling. "No. I-this is wrong, Chace."

I pull my hand away before he grabs it to stop me from leaving. My boss is fighting for his life in the other room, I must be showing some terrific support. "Hurricane"-

"Don't call me that Chace. Just-please," rubbing my face with my palms, more tears are ready to fall down. My head throbs with exhaustion. "I need to go."

"Don't do this to me," His voice shakes, gently spinning me around to meet his watery blue gaze. "I've been waiting and I can't do this anymore."

"What do you mean you can't do this anymore?" I sniff, wiping my nose with the back of my wrist. "Waiting? Do you honestly think you can show up out of nowhere hoping I'd take you back?!" My voice echoes through the hallway, I keep going regardless of the people staring at us with confused interest.

The rigidity in my body increases, anger splintering through my veins. I need to find the right words in order to hit him in a way he'll forever live to remember and never forget.

"I told you things I've never told anyone before, I opened myself up to you thinking I could trust you, but you left without saying a stupid word." I'm suddenly back to standing in Ethan's apartment, watching his face crumple with innocence, cringing in a corner.

"You left. You left when I thought I finally had someone I could count on, someone who wouldn't give me away. You left..." I stab a finger at his chest repeatedly.

"You have no right to say how sorry you are because you are not. You have no right to show your pretentious innocence, you have no right to make me believe this was entirely my fault!" I hiss, tears scalding my cheeks.

"Ivy please listen to me-No don't say that, I need the time and I promise I will tell you everything." Chace swallows, I close my eyelids digging my fingernails deep into my palms. The desperation hangs in the air. The more I look at him the more I'm able to notice the pent up emotions he wants to say to me, I almost consider giving him the opportunity to provide me insights about his hidden vulnerability.

"What do you think I am? Actually, who did you think I was?" I raise a hand to stop him from coming up with a defensive argument which he hopes would be the end. I'm no longer the type to let this slide. I don't expect him to see the change in me. "I have a life too, Chace. And if you can't open your eyes and take a moment to see that, you are mistaken."

"Ivy"-

"It was nice knowing you."

I want to go back to him, take his hand in mine and be there by his side listening to what he has to tell me. I don't see myself as the type who is this vile, not allowing others to explain themselves because they deserve to voice their shares of opinions, not necessarily the ones you can agree on. But I'm being forced to do it.

And I'm definitely no longer struggling to give in to my temptations.

"I did it because I love you!"

I stop, standing still. I go completely numb. "What?" Chace's face is red with freedom, I watch the rise and fall of his chest. "Yes, Ivy I said it, alright? I did it because I fucking loved you and goddamnit I still do."

Nodding my head with disbelief, I turn back to keep walking. He just said he loves me. It doesn't help change my mind. "No, no you don't get to walk away from me." I shrug my shoulders away from his grip. "It wasn't difficult for me to say it Ivy and I want you to believe that shit. I'm not afraid anymore. It doesn't scare me. All I'm asking is for you to turn around and trust me on this."

It took me years to build up the trust I was starting to develop for him. It only took Chace a second to destroy it making me understand it wasn't what I had in life but who I had in my life. He was a part in my life. He laid my heart open, I gave him a part of myself. I let him inside that part of me, cutting the lowest and painful place in my soul.

He didn't accept the cracks and the dents I carried. The bleeding never stopped. I never expected Chace to stop it. At least I know what he felt for me, but anyone can convince anyone to sound genuine knowing they'd buy it.

I want to turn and shout at him, telling him if two people loved each other one of them wouldn't walk away when it came to battling the obstacles the universe had in store for us. When you love somebody, you chose them because you both want to walk down that road with so many pitfalls in them, it's about bringing and uplifting each other.

You don't leave them the moment things start to get rough. There is a valid explanation why the two of you are in this together.

It doesn't matter anymore, Chace needn't deserve to know that. I deserve to know the reason he disappeared but I don't want to. I don't want to bear the judgments. But the ability to trust my heart with my mind is something I can't work with.

I'm over with excuses.

Pushing the door open, Adrien is asleep, the beeping of the machines are enough to cover up the tears falling from my eyes. I'm not crying because of Chace and I'm not crying because Adrien.... I may not understand what he is to me. He wants to live.

Catching hold of his limp hand, there is some strength remaining as I feel mine getting squeezed.