twenty three

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devon's pov

the first thing i hear upon waking up is the trees as they rustled on the other side of these walls. the second thing i hear is the ocean crashing against the shore, laughter from children on the beach. the third, is a persons breath.

i slowly open my eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them. i look around, my head rising. i plop it back down onto the pillow, being too tired to move any part of my body.

i look to my right, a person sleeping there with their back turned away from me. ethan?

a gasp left my lips. ethan?

i raise my head once more. on the corner of the mirror, a picture of ethan and sonny. i'm in his room?

oh gosh, what is that smell?

oh. it's me. i smell like the fresh water from the mountains. but mustier.

this time, i fully sit up and lean my body against the wall. i take in the sight of his bedroom to notice that it looks so different for him.

you'd expect a hard south side bad boy theme going on, but it's not like that.

i mean, it isn't much so north side either. it isn't between any. in fact, it's kind of just... normal.

i like it.

the door handle twisted open, but i sit there still, being too tired to react. alexandra opens the door, her hand never leaving the door randle.

her eyes open wide when she sees me, and i let out a nervous chuckle. "hi." i say, hoping to clear what she was probably thinking.

she sighed. "i forgot you were here for a second." she laughs. "um. i made breakfast. my mom's still sleeping. she usually doesn't get up until after noon, so i think you're good."

i look over at ethan, who sleeps soundly. my heart warms at the fact that he's so secluded and doesn't let anyone into his personal life including family, and here i am: in his bed.

i climb out of the covers, tying my hair up so it's out of my face. "do you want to brush your hair?" alexandra asks me, pointing at the mess that lies up top of my head.

i chuckled. "it's okay. i'll survive."

alexandra and i leave ethan to sleep and head downstairs. a house like this i definitely wasn't used to. the walls stained a light brown color allowing me to know their mom probably smoked inside.

beer bottles lay tipped over on the kitchen table. newspapers regarding the charity money lay along with it. i guess their mom is keeping tabs.

alexandra's food lay on the table. she takes a trash bag, throwing her mother's trash into it. "sorry for the mess. it's always like this." my heart aches.

"don't worry about it." i smiled, reassuring her she didn't have to take blame for her mom.

"ethan usually doesn't have girls over." she says, motioning for me to sit. i take a seat at the table, she sits across from me. "or anyone over, actually."

"i was starting to think he was a loner." she adds, laughing.

i chuckled, shaking my head. "your brother just likes to keep to himself." i shrugged my shoulders.

"yeah, that or he's ashamed to be seen with our mom." she says. "but your answer works too." she shrugged her shoulders, chuckling.

i laughed. "has he ever talked to you about it?"

"no, but i can see it. it's so obvious. he thinks he's mysterious and hard to read, but if anyone knows how to read him the best, it's me." she says. "she's always mean to him. only him. blaming him for everything even when he didn't do anything."

she let out a long exaggerated sigh. "if i could go one day without her yelling at ethan, i'd sleep happily."

my lip tug up, smiling at the sincerity of her words. "that's so sweet. to care for you brother like that."

alexandra smiles. "we're all we have, you know? we have to care for each other."

"do you have any siblings?" she asks.

at first, i'm hesitant to speak about him. but then i thought, what good what it come to pretend like he doesn't exist. slowly, i nod. "i have a brother."

alexandra smiles at my words. she can finally find some way to relate to me. "what's his name?"

"dillon." i simply say.

"dillon and devon wu." she repeats to herself. "hm. i like it. are you guys twins?"

i shake my head, a chuckle escapes my lips. "far from twins. but very close in age. he's in college right now."

"you must miss him." she says, sadness lacing her voice.

"everyday." i reply. "but i can't blame him for wanting to get away from this toxic town. i just wish he didn't leave everything behind."

everything refers to me. to our family. the ignorance is beginning to hurt. dillon was my best friend, why must he leave behind in brooklyn bay what i thought was the most important gift of life. your memories.

memories keep me whole. they make me who i am. without them, i'd be in an endless loop of being who everyone wants me to be.

memories help me remember what's it's like when my brother would plan a surprise birthday party for me. or when my parents would bake cookies on christmas eve.

when i won prom queen.

when i got my first boyfriend.

my first kiss.

it helps me remember the best moments in which i go into the mountains with the guy i like, swimming half naked and fighting the urge to kiss him.

i'm grateful for memories because without them, i wouldn't be able to remember this feeling anymore. warmth, satisfaction.

this time, i'm letting my body do what it wants to do instead of letting everyone else take advantage of that.

and all it wants to do, is lay in the arms of ethan dolan and talk about his memories.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

pretty short chapter. i'm sorry!

sooo i know it's been awhile since devon told the readers she liked ethan. tbh i was starting to forget. but NOW, now it's confirmed. like for real, huh.

cherish your memories. but always, always make new ones.

love you all.

OH WAIT update on the guy i like (i hate the word crush it's such a bad way to identify the person you like) : i was bold and i followed him on instagram. he followed back, and it made me happy.

only thing is, i'll have to live off seeing him through a screen which sucks.

a part of me wishes i never quit my job. maybe i'd be spending more time with him otherwise.

whatever, i'll survive.

okay bye for real now :)

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