The Specter of my Life (Frerard)

6 - starting the fire

It was two days later and Emily was losing her cool slowly but surely. We were almost one step closer to getting the asshole behind bars and she was beyond ecstatic. We were waiting for Alex a few feet away from the fire station and Emily was all over the place.

It went well the first time I met him. At first, he was skeptical but then Emily remembered some secrets between only him and Miles and he started to believe me. It took him quite some time to get over the fact that there are actually people who can commune with the dead and when I answered some questions about this 'power' (as he called it) he was able to concentrate on the task at hand.

He agreed to help us, mainly, of course, Emily and promised to draw the identikit and then take it to the police. He was already running late on Monday so we agreed to meet on Wednesday when he would have more time.

And so now I was here listening to Emily's erratic breathing and watching her bounce around on her feet like a puppy that isn't quite sure how to walk yet. It was starting to annoy me so I told her I'll have a smoke and she just nodded so I walked a few feet away and took out my cigarettes. I let out a long exhale and instantly calmed down once I had the stick between my lips.

I was about to light it up but my lighter just wouldn't work. I knew I had to buy a new one since this one was problematic ever since I bought it but I was just too lazy to stop by anywhere. I was cursing my laziness when someone offered me an opened lighter with the fire just dancing around. I took the opportunity and lit my cigarette before I turned to my savior. I was surprised to see the guy I helped pick up the things on Monday. What was his name again?

"Thanks." I smiled at him and let out the smoke through the side of my mouth.

"I usually do the opposite but...yeah." He smiled a bit.

"Oh, right. You're a firefighter." I chuckled. "Hm?" I offered him a cigarette too.

"Oh, okay, thank you." He shrugged and took one.

"That's a really nice lighter." I commented, trying to keep up the conversation.

"Thanks. It's from my grandma." He smiled as he munched the decorated metal in his hands.

"You're Gerard, right?" I asked him because I suddenly remembered his name. It wasn't a very usual name but I liked the way it rolled off my tongue.

"I am, yeah." He nodded surprised that I remembered his name.

"Oh, sorry, my name's Frank." I shook my head and reached out so we could shake hands.

We stood there in silence after that awkward introduction and watched each other smoke. Normally this would feel creepy as hell but something about him made me feel calm and ordinary. He wasn't beautiful, he was your normal average guy but the longer I kept staring at him the more handsome he looked. I wanted to say something, ask him to tell me more about himself but as soon as I opened my mouth I was startled by an annoying voice that kept bugging me for the past few days.

"Frank, he's coming, oh my god, I can't wait." Emily appeared by my side and I was sure that if she could, she would be dragging me away tugging at my shirt.

I looked at her and nodded discreetly and then turned back to Gerard who was frowning a bit and moving his eyes erratically as if looking for something. I just arched one of my eyebrows and shrugged it off, he was probably thinking about something.

"I've got to go." I told him softly. "It was nice meeting you." I smiled as I walked away.

"You too, Frank, you too." He smiled and waved awkwardly.

___

"Does it look okay?" Alex asked after he was done with the drawing.

"Yeah, it looks just like the guy I remember." Emily said from behind me and I told Alex.

"Alright, so how do you want to do this?" He asked scratching at his forehead.

"I was thinking..." I started looking at Emily because I haven't told her my plan yet, "that you could say you saw him talking to someone, either in person and didn't see them or on the phone."

"Wait, what? I thought-" Emily was about to protest.

"Hear me out, please." I asked her and turned back to Alex. "You'll say that you heard him talk about stealing things and that 'last time' it got out of control and he killed someone." I proposed and Alex was nodding along already liking the plan.

"That sounds believable, mate." Alex said and asked what Emily thought about that.

"I, well, it's not what I had in mind but it's a really good plan. You're probably more experienced than me." Emily nodded approvingly.

"Alright, she agrees." I told Alex.

"When do we go through with this?" He asked me and we agreed on Friday since he was free that day.

___

I was starting to get tired. I didn't want to do this anymore. It wasn't just Emily. It was all the other auras that kept bugging me ever since I could remember. I was glad to not have started taking drugs to escape them but again, all the pills I was taking as a teenager gave me a pretty insight into what my life would be like if I was an addict. I was addicted to something else though.

It was Thursday evening and I found myself on a stranger's bed with a blindfold over my eyes and headphones in my ears. I was always so relieved when my one night stand agreed to that because I needed a time out without hearing any voices. Sometimes I was okay with rock music but other times I needed something more calming.

I completely lost myself underneath the man that brought me to his home. I wasn't aware of the reality, I just let myself be taken away into a different dimension by the dark ambient music swimming through my ears and focused on the physical bliss the man was inflicting upon me. I felt so much more relaxed than any other time. My mind was empty but at the last second, just before I let myself go completely a face flashed across my consciousness.

I was baffled. Why him? We've only met twice. It pestered me for only a moment before I let it go but it was still at the back of my mind. I packed my things and left the poor guy whose name I didn't even bother remembering and went home. Emily was just where I left her, on the couch, watching a movie. I sighed quietly and walked further into the apartment that I wished could be mine only for just a few days. As much as I liked Emily I needed some alone time. Desperately.

"Ahh, good you're home! I was starting to get bored, could you put something else on?"

"Of course." I smiled politely and found her a different movie.

"Sooo, how was he?" She asked me knowingly.

"Ah, well, it was good. Better than some but definitely not the best." I shrugged as I sat down beside her.

"Cool." Emily said but I knew she wanted to talk about something else.

"It will be fine. I believe in Alex." I told her reassuringly.

"Thank you." She smiled appreciatively and then we continued to watch the movie in complete silence.

_____

sup you guiz
hows it going lol

soooo we got some more of that frerard stuff, hope its enough to keep you going for another few days
next chapter will be more frerard oriented i promise

stay street
sending love and good vibes as always
-L