Chamber by Chamber // Snowbaz

The Stars Taunt Us- Ch. 3

But I need a week to think about it.

*Simon's POV*

A week. I can deal with a week. I was surprised when he didn't say outright yes, but not too disappointed. I understand that he needs time; he'd be a bit loony if he didn't. We've been back together for just two months (two bloody fantastic months, but only two nonetheless), and I know that I hurt him when I told him to leave. But I didn't really mean it. Sometimes (quite frequently, really) I'll wonder what would have happened if I had gotten my shit together earlier and stayed with him. Merlin, we might've been married by now. It certainly felt like it was going that way before I fucked everything up. Maybe he'd still look at me like I hung the stars just for his enjoyment. Maybe we would still snog each other like it was the end of the world. (Maybe it was. For us, anyway.)

I suppose I understand where he's coming from. I know I hurt him in ways that he didn't deserve to be hurt. I know that. But I know I love him and I know he loves me... so why let one bloody mistake get in the way of a fucking lifetime of happiness? I don't know. But I have faith (that's a first) that he'll make the right decision by the end of the week. The right decision for not just us but him, too. I'm pretty sure that he'll say yes by the end of this week, but then again, I was pretty sure that he'd come back when I broke up with him. I've been wrong a lot this past year.

Now we're back at my apartment, and I'm cooking dinner while Baz grumbles about there being nothing on the telly to watch. I take a moment from cooking to admire the way he looks. (I've been doing that a lot.) He has one arms draped over the back of the couch, legs crossed while flipping through the channels on the remote in his other hand. Somehow he always manages to look amazing, even when his hair is a mess and he's doing something as simple as looking for a show. I shake myself and get back to making spaghetti.

Just as I'm stirring the sauce, I feel arms wrap around my waist, a body moving around my wings, and the ghost of a kiss on the side of my cheek. Baz hasn't seemed very touchy feely lately, so I take this as an opportunity to lean back into his arms and melt under his touch. I can't help the sigh that escapes from my lips as he nuzzles his face into my neck. I just miss him so much. I know we've been together (again) for over two months, but I haven't felt quite as close to him as I did before the break up. We've cuddled just the same, sure, but there aren't as many as thoughtless touches- like a casual kiss on the forehead, or the squeeze of a hand. I haven't been ready to go very far, (not further than a proper snog now and then, with shirts off) but Baz hasn't seemed to mind. But even though we've felt separate lately, stars wait an eternity to finally get to each other. What's a few months?
"I love you, Baz." I breathe, still leaning into his touch. (Not caring about my wings for the moment.) He seems hesitant for a moment- like he doesn't quite know what to say.

"I love you too, Snow." I smile as I spin around to face him, spaghetti sauce long gone from my mind. His eyes shine (but with what I don't know) as he looks from my lips back to my eyes. He looks sad, but then again, he tends to look sad a lot. Crowley, I wish I could make him happy.

*Baz's POV*

Simon Snow is looking at me as though he's been wanting me for an eternity. (It sometimes feels that way- like we've been waiting as long as the stars for a happy ending.) I don't know why I decided to come and wrap my arms around him. Merlin, I don't even know why I kissed him. I suppose... I suppose I wanted the illusion of normalcy for just a bit, didn't I? The way it felt like it did over a bloody year ago when things were far from perfect, but at least they weren't this. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever get that back... I hope we do.

But for now, I just want to get lost in Simon the way I used to. Lost in the novas that he holds in his eyes and trace the constellations of moles that he has all over. He is a galaxy. He is a living, breathing, galaxy. He could be my galaxy. But that's just the thing- I never did know if the galaxy intrigued me, or if I always resented it... maybe a bit of both.