The Power Of Love

Life's For The Living

15. Life Is For The Living

               ''Death is the only thing in life that we are promised. Life is a free privilege given to everyone, but it's not promised, it's not for sure. There's a way in which humans can live without actually living. I know this because that's how I've been living for the past three years. It's simple, you get up and do what is expected of you, as long as you satisfy the prying eyes that watch over you, then you're fine and you're doing it correctly. You're living correctly. And sometimes you believe it yourself; you think that you're an active member of society until you go home to face your demons. They will show you, the real you, the one that you try so hard to hide, and you'll have no choice but to be content with it, accept it, accept that you are dead inside. Life is for the living. Not for us-not for me''

I stared at the piece of paper in front of me, half of it had been marked out with pen ink and finally, I was able to come up with something. Something, that was true and close to home, I didn't want to lie any more or hide my true emotions. This was how I felt, and maybe being as sad as I felt would benefit me positively. I mean, look where I am now? I guess I wasn't the best actress at covering the dark parts of my soul.

''What do you think?'' Eric asked

I looked over at him to see the most beautiful drawing I had ever seen in my life. It was a dark cloud mist and inside of it was a girl, half of her face covered by her hair, and down her cheeks were tears. I smiled faintly.

''Its-great'' I managed to choke out

''Can I see yours?'' Eric stretched his hand in my direction

''NO!'' I said too quickly as I snatched my paper away not wanting him to see what I had written.

I still wasn't the kind of person to openly share my feelings and how I felt, especially not with Eric Saltzman. I know that it was evidently clear that I was messed up and something was wrong with me because look where I am? But I didn't want him to see me in that way, no matter how crazy, dark and depressed my world was.

''Whoa-is it like that?'' He laughed

''Sorry-I-I'm sorry'' I said, embarrassed as I pushed my hair behind my ear

''It's okay-I will note that down-she's very touchy about her work'-''

''No, it's not that it's just, I don't want you to think any less of me'' I said looking away

''C'mon Louise, do I have to say it again? Nothing can make me think any less about you-I think you're amazing, everything about you''

''Really?'' I said hopefully

''Yes'' Eric smiled, revealing his two perfect deep dimples

I smiled back wildly as I stared at him for minutes, he went back to work on his drawing and I just stared admiring his beauty. His light-coloured brunette hair fell into natural curls, his face perfectly structured. Everything about him was amazing, everything about him made me smile.

''Here'' I said, smiling as I handed him my sheet of paper

''Are you sure?'' He asked, raising an eyebrow

''Yeah-I'm sure'' I smiled widely

''Thanks''

Eric took the paper from me and he read to himself, I watched his expression waiting for it to change but it never did. It remained the same, his expression mirrored back nothing but admiration back to me. And my breath hitched in my throat when he turned to look at me and smiled almost like I was something important, almost like I mattered. I liked the way he looked at me, and the feelings that came along with it.