Amnesia ~reddie~

weak

Eddie curled up into a ball and cried, unable to stop the flood of tears that were escaping his eyes. He couldn't stop them. He wasn't strong enough. He wasn't brave enough. He was fucking weak. Eddie just let them hurt him. And now he has a giant cut on his arm, worse than it was before. Richies going to think he's weak. He went one day without Richie or Stanley by his side and he gets fucking beat up by bullies. Eddie thought he was stronger than this. He thought he had inhuman strength.

Why am I so fucking worthless? Eddie sobbed, not even feeling the pain in his arm anymore.

I'm just a burden to Stan and Richie. They don't even like me, they just feel bad for me. I bet I annoy them all the time. I bet they think I'm boring and want me to go away.

Eddies vision flashed as another memory came to him out of nowhere.

Eddie knocked on a door. He was older than before when his mother had hit him. Maybe around 8 or 9 years old.

A young boy with a bowl cut answered the door. "Eddie?"

Eddie shyly smiled. "Hey, Will. I know we haven't talked in a while and I just wanted to explain what I did last year and why I did it."

Will looked down, sad and angry. "I don't care about your explanations."

Eddie stepped forward. "No, please, Will. Just hear me out. I need to tell you."

The other boy sighed and leaned against the door frame. "Then tell me, right here."

Eddie gulped nervously, he wasn't the best at persuading or explanations. "My mom told me about your family," Eddie began and Wills face hardened. "And she said she didn't want me hanging around you. And-and I told her that you were my friend and I wasn't going to give you up because she said so.."

Will stepped forward, taking Eddies hand and pulling him closer. "You said that?" He whispered, his face brightening.

Eddie nodded, close to tears. "And-and.."

"And?" Will prompted gently.

"She hit me."

Will gasped and pulled the asthmatic boy in for a hug. "Oh my god, Eddie, I'm so sorry. If you would've told me I would've understood."

Eddie cried into his best friends shoulders, getting the boys plaid shirt wet with tears. "I didn't want to-to give you up, W-will."

Will gently pulled away, smiling faintly. "It's okay, Eddie. I understand. I never really hated you, I was just confused that's all. I didn't know why you stopped hanging out with me. I never hated you."

Eddie wiped away his tears with his sleeve. "I'm sorry I bothered you with this. It's-it's just I didn't want you not to know. I heard you were moving to Indiana and I didn't want to leave things on bad terms."

Will took Eddie's hand again. "You aren't bothering me. I'm just glad to know you didn't ignore me because you hated me. I won't forget you, Eddie."

The small boy smiled. "I won't forget you either, Will the Wise,"

The boys laughed and hugged for the very last time. "Come back to Derry sometime?" Eddie asked hopefully.

Will sadly smiled. "Of course."

But he never did.

Eddie stood up, forcing himself to walk and forget about all the germs crawling on him. The pain in his arm was almost unbearable now, but he couldn't do anything about it. He hadn't worn his fanny packs since he started school with Richie because he never thought he'd need them. Eddie glanced down at the watch that Richie had to reprogram to get the random beeping to stop.

2:29 PM.

That means school will be letting out soon. Eddie quickly made his way to Richies house, as Stan's was farther away. He stumbled to the back and clumsily climbed up the tree by Richies bedroom window. Lucky for Eddie, the window was unlocked, allowing him to fall in.
He tried to get up from the floor but he was too tired from walking all this way. Eddie decided a little sleep wouldn't hurt.

He closed his eyes and let the darkness envelop him.

Richie opened the door to his house, hating the stench of alcohol that hit him. He was glad his parents weren't home, yet, but he'd only have a few hours before they came back.

He hopped up the stairs, thinking about all the homework that he would never do.

Richie opened the door to his bedroom and screamed.

Eddie was laying on the floor by his window with his arm gushing blood and his face alarmingly pale. Richie threw his book bag on the ground and knelt by the small boys side.

"Eds?" He yelled, panicking when the boy wouldn't open his eyes.

"EDDIE???" He gently slapped Eddie's face, tears starting to stream down his face. "Please, wake up, Eds."

After a minute of doing this with no response, Richie called Stan.

"What?" Stan answered, sounding stressed.
"I need your help." Richie responded, his voice breaking.

"Is it Eddie? Because he isn't here and I'm starting to get worried."

"Yeah, It's Eds. He's on my floor and he's bleeding and he won't wake up and I don't know what to do." Richie hiccuped.

There was a sharp intake of breath. "I'm on my way."