Shadows Into Light

Fear

My box

has been opened.

He opened it.

Again.

The fear of him

crawling back into my life,

the fear that I can't

trust my family anymore,

the fear that you will abandon me too,

are weighing heavily on me.

I have so many secrets

in my head,

so many twisted

fears within me.

I am so afraid

to share any of them

to anyone.

My family has hurt me,

using the same techniques

(unintentionally)

he used to hurt me.

I don't want their sympathy,

and their sorrys for what has happened

I want to be treated

the same.

I'm so afraid to share

them with you.

When I painted my thoughts

along my body,

sharing the words

that dig deep into my skin,

he hurt me.

He slowly abandoned me

over a half a year,

cutting me up

into tiny pieces,

so I was not strong

enough to fight him.

I am afraid

that if I share

those thoughts and words

that you will do the same.

I don't have any confidantes

anymore,

because of him.

Because of the lies,

the pain,

and the scar

which will forever be

etched across my chest.

I don't know

anymore to convey

the pain which lays

deep inside of me.