Epiphany: The Domino Effect || PJM/KTH/READER +21

XXIII. Ji-Min's Grief

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Ji-Min proceeded to the floor below and rode an elevator to the NICU. He located the Triage counter and asked for assistance to locate the doctor overseeing his wife's case. A nurse reached for a phone and paged the doctor.

She directed Ji-Min to take a seat in the visitors' lounge while he waited. Ji-Min had no intention of divulging what he needs to do to the others and this prompted his anxiety to rise to higher levels. He decided that it was best if he kept quiet.

Ji-Min twiddled his thumbs for the few minutes it took the doctor to arrive. He glanced up from his seat and observed the doctor, still in scrubs, heading towards him. Ji-Min stood and greeted him with a handshake.

"Mr. Park, first, I want to inform you that your wife has been through significant trauma, thus she's been sedated. Next, I'm sorry to tell you, due to several severe complications, your daughter wasn't able to survive the birth." The doctor very sympathetic and placed his hand on Ji-Min's shoulder.

"Tae already told me about my little girl. What about my my son, how is he? Is he going to be OK? " Ji-Min was slightly apprehensive because he was terrified of the answers.

"The next twenty-four to forty-eight hours are crucial in evaluating your son. He's very weak. His weight is a mere 1.6 lbs. We had to intubate him because he had difficulty breathing on his own and is still unable to swallow on his own."

"We are closely monitoring him due to a great concern of him contracting bronchial or viral infections. An infection in his lungs could cause one or both to collapse and if this happens, he won't be strong enough to endure such a trauma. On the other hand, if he can survive the next forty-eight hours, his chances to pull through will increase."

"How is Lyric? Does she know about our son's condition or of our daughter's passing?" Questions kept popping up in Ji-Min's mind.

"Alright, slow down Mr. Park. Let me answer these questions first. Like I already informed you, Ms. Moynihan is sedated. She doesn't know about either infant yet. We found it best to let her rest first and then we can all sit with her and gently tell her." He patted Ji-Min's shoulder.

"It makes sense, but I don't think I should be there when she wakes up. I screwed up our marriage and she probably hates me now. I'm also indirectly at fault for the attack that caused Lyric to go into labor too early. You should have our closest friends, Min Yoon-Gi and Kim Tae-Hyung there. They'll be a great support system for her."

"If it's what you believe is best, I'll include your friends" The doctor agreed.

Ji-Min desperately wanted to comfort you but knew you would never approve. How he longed to hold you in his arms and stroke your velvety hair. Ji-Min yearned to tell you how sorry he was and to kiss away your tears, but he knew it was too late. He went too far and now, there was no turning back.

"Doctor, please do everything you can to keep our son alive. Whatever needs to be done, I beg you, do it. Whatever the cost, I'll spend it. I'm very wealthy and I'll gladly give you all my money if you can help keep our boy alive. Lyric can't sustain another loss. I've already taken too much from her. Please don't let her lose our baby boy."

Ji-Min's eyes were saturated with tears. The wet droplets ran in rivulets down his cheeks. He couldn't let your baby boy die. Ji-Min knew forgiveness was something you will never be able to give him, but he also knew he still had do everything he could to assure some of your happiness is returned.

The doctor guided Ji-Min to a room where your daughter was wrapped in a blanket on an examination table. She looked as though she was in a deep slumber. Ji-Min leaned over and stroked her tiny cheek. His tears were streaming down his face. His heart was shattered and for a moment, he thought of how your heart had to have felt the same after everything he had perpetrated.

"My beautiful little girl, I want you to know your Dada is sorry. I was blinded by all the wrong things and forgot to protect my babies and their Mama."

He brushed her cheek with his thumb.

"I am so sad because I'll never be able to play with you or teach you things. I won't be able to watch you grow and to see what you could've become."

Ji-Min carried on through his sobs. His pain was evident.

"As each year passes, I will always wonder if you would've loved to dance and sing like me, or would you have loved writing like your Mama. I'll never know what your favorite color is or who your friends are."

Ji-Min took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly.

"Because of me, you'll never experience your first love or the joy of getting married and having your own babies. I'm so very sorry, my little angel. Please forgive me and please watch over your brother and your Mama. Remember, your Dada will always love you and I will never forget you. You'll always be in my heart, my beautiful baby daughter."

At some point Ji-Min picked your daughter up because and cradled her in his arms. He kissed her forehead and sobbed tempestuously. Ji-Min didn't want to let her go.

"My beautiful baby, I will pray things can be different, although I know nothing can change. They are my unanswered prayers which will torture me forever. They will be part of my atonement."

His prayers were for a time machine so he could travel back in time and redo everything. Ji-Min only wanted to be happy with you again. He yearned for the ability to erase the infidelity. At most, he desired to be with you, as you waited together for the arrival of your twins. Such an impossible dream that will never come true.

Because of his despicable actions, he would never have the family he always dreamed of...