The fucking elevator doors close just as I reach them and I smack my hand hard against it. Fuck. My head turns to the stairwell door behind me and I briefly think of using them.
Even though New York is a pretty accepting city these days, I still think I'd find it fucking hard to find a cabby who will give me a ride in just a towel.
Fuck, how the fuck did I fuck this up so much?
The look on Maddy's face is going to haunt me. I fucking broke her. This woman I care so fucking much about and I broke her. Her small frame looked even smaller as she hugged herself as the doors closed. And her face, fuck that ripped me apart watching the tears fall as she screamed at me. Knowing that I couldn't even touch her made it a special kind of torture.
I turn and leg it back to my apartment.
I need fucking pants.
Flying past the the toddler sitting in my kitchen, happily eating her ice cream, I almost crash into the damn doorframe as I round it into the bedroom. My arm still whacks it hard though.
"Fuck." I grind out.
"Uncle Aiden owes a dollar in the swear jar." A little voice calls from the kitchen.
That fucking swear jar is going to send me fucking broke.
I find pants and a shirt. I'm jamming my shoes on when April appears in the doorway.
"Are you ok?.... Is she?.."
I sigh and stop for a moment. I can't answer either of those questions. I honestly have no idea.
".. I'm so sorry Aiden, we can travel up to mum and dads if it helps. The last thing I want to do is screw anything up bet..."
"You're staying.." I cut her off. ".. I can fucking fix this... Fuck, I fucking hope so."
I run my hands through my hair and hear a little voice pipe up from kitchen, informing me I now owe four dollars to the fucking swear jar.
"Go, and good luck."
April grins at me as I high tail it out of there to the kitchen. I grab my phone off the kitchen bench were it has sat since some time early Sunday when I told Anna I wasn't coming in this week. I lost track of the damn thing during all the chaos. Looking closer, I notice the bloody thing is off. I look up at my ice cream covered niece, who's smiling at me.
"Your phone was playing lots of noises, so I turned it off."
It's hard to argue with the reasoning of a three year old.
Shaking my head, I stuff the phone in my pocket and run out the door. I throw an extra five hundred at the cabby to run every light possible.
My hands are shaking as I climb the stairs to Maddy's apartment. I pray to whoever the hell is listening that I can fucking fix this. Her face as the doors closed flashes through my mind as I reach her door. I can't loose her. I won't loose her. Fear, pain, and panic surges through every part of my body at the thought of loosing her. Before I know it, my fist is pounding on her door.
"Maddy, open the damn door.."
That's right Aiden, smart man. Sound angry and pissed as hell that you had to chase her ass down. That'll make her open the door for you. Dumb ass.
I try to slow my breathing and push the fear away. I haven't lost her yet.
".. Maddy I know you're in there... Open the door please, we need to talk.."
YOU ARE READING
The Best Man
ChickLitBaking blogger, Madison Blake, is over the moon that her big sister is getting married. Celebratory drinks are had and some dancing is done to honour such an occasion. While nursing the world's biggest hangover the next morning and craving something...
