Breaking Order

Chapter 4: "Burden"

It took me forever to find my damn pants. I nearly tugged on a pair of Car's before I found mine, slung over a bed post where I'd tossed them before taking a bath the night before.

The asshole hadn't even tried to come into the bedroom and speak to me, and when I came stalking out of the room wearing his shirt, my pants, and my boots, he frowned.

"Meri, can we please-?"

I turned on him, pointing my finger angrily. "Were you going to fucking tell me that you didn't think I was strong enough to keep working?"

He looked exasperated, "Of course not. I simply wanted to say that I didn't know if you continuing working the way you were was the best course of action considering the Head Order's scrutiny right now."

Crossing my arms, I glared at him. "You don't think I can handle myself."

His gaze darkened as he returned my glare in kind, "Of course that isn't it, but you're still human."

"You think I'm weak."

His composure broke as he replied, voice rising in pitch and irritation palpable, "You're a hell of a lot stronger than most people, Meri, but fuck yes, you're breakable. And now you've got a target on your back."

I snorted, "I can handle myself, asshole."

He growled, "Meriwa, you can't handle everything alone. You're not weak, but you've got to be smart about this."

I hissed, "So now I'm being dumb, irrational, is that it?"

He softened, clearly flustered, "That's not what I meant, Meri. You know that's not what-."

"Look, I'm done with this conversation for now. I need to get some air." I walked over to the hall tree next to the front door and grabbed the first set of car keys I saw resting in the small bowl where Car kept them all.

After shoving them into my pocket, I angrily pulled on the door handle. It wouldn't open. Grunting, I noticed a keypad set into the wall next to the door. Whirling around, I demanded, "What's the code to open the door, Car?"

He glared at me for a moment as we battled with each other using our gazes. After a second, his anger subsided, and he looked away, his expression becoming crestfallen. It was almost enough to make me stay...almost.

Looking defeated he replied, "102019."

I punched in the code and heard the bolts sliding out of place. I turned the handle, pushing open the abnormally heavy door and yelling, "If you send anyone after me, I swear to the Gods I won't be coming back." Despite feeling his eyes boring a hole into my back, I didn't look at the asshole as I left.

The door shut roughly behind me. So what if he'd made the code to the door the day we went to the carnival together? So what if he'd looked like a sad puppy as I was leaving?

I needed space.

As I angrily pushed the elevator button to head down to the parking lot, I realized I still never found my phone. 

Shit. Oh well.

***

The keys I had grabbed were to a 2018 Audi R8 Spyder, and as I sped through the rain aimlessly, I fumed.

The nerve of the jerk, assuming I would just give up everything I'd built because we were together now. Then, he'd had the balls to insinuate I was weak and that I was being irrational with my anger.

I knew there had to be something wrong with this whole relationship thing.

I'd finally made it out of the city, and I felt nominally better. My head felt clearer, despite the driving rain obscuring my vision as I drove the ridiculous vehicle.

Through the rain pelting the window, I made out a sign for the Pearl River Wildlife Management Area and parked the car in the first parking area near a hiking trail.

Yeah, it was raining, but it wasn't as bad as it was before. After turning off the car, I opened the door with a huff only to be greeted by a blast of chilly, wet wind. Ignoring the cold, I shoved the keys into my pocket and climbed out. The cold didn't matter. I definitely needed to cool off anyway.

Turning aimlessly down one of the trails and walking, I finally allowed myself to breath. The chill stung my lungs but brought clarity as I focused on my breathing.

After about a mile of mindless walking, I happened upon and overturned log and sat down to think. My clothes were soaked through, hair dripping, but the chill felt good after the hike.

On some level, I knew why Car was so worried. He loved me and was concerned I'd get hurt. If I went back to working as I had for the past year, helping those humans who needed it, then I wouldn't always be surrounded by KnightCorp goons willing to help me when shit got real. I also wouldn't always be in New Orleans or other relatively secure cities, which would leave me open to attack by the Head Order or Hunters or whoever else wanted a fucking piece of me.

But, I wasn't going to change who I was and what I did for him. I mean, to be fair, he hadn't asked me to. He only said he'd wanted to talk about it.

Had I overreacted?

No. No, I hadn't. I was mad, and it was OK to be mad sometimes.

After several moments of quiet introspection, I realized that there was more to this situation. Yeah, I was pissed, but if I was being honest with myself, then I was actually kind of...scared, too.

I was scared of the way he made me feel. I was frightened of needing him, and I was absolutely terrified he was going to try to tell me what to do because that would mean I'd leave him. No matter how much I loved him, I would never deal with a domineering asshole who tried to control me.

The wind picked up, intensifying the chill and making me shiver. The temperature was definitely dropping.

With a sigh, I stood. It was time to talk to him, figure out what he was thinking. It wasn't doing me any damn good sitting here on a log, soaked to the bone and fuming. The walk back to the car in this rain was going to be a doozie, though.

***

When I returned to KnightCorp and stopped at the security checkpoint, I looked pointedly at the security guard, a shapeshifter I vaguely remembered from my days working here. With a dark grin, I delivered my warning, "If you tell Alesky I'm here, then I will find you and enact my divine retribution on your soul."

The man's expression grew conflicted, torn between obeying orders from the boss and obeying me. Eventually, he nodded, making me smile as I pulled through and parked in one of the spaces reserved for the most ostentatious of employee vehicles.

Time to confront the King Asshole.