Fifty Shades of Him (h.s. au)

XXXII

"Good. Now for your test results. It would seem that whatever occurred to your genitals had indeed decreased your sperm count. But that's not necessarily permanent. It could just be this way due to the deep bruising but the tissue was damaged pretty badly. The erection pills the person gave you damaged a nerve and the chances of an erection occurring soon are slim. The assumed time you could have one would occur in a few months but damage has been done. What happened to you, son, will more than likely become close to infertility," he says, the silence in the room presuming. The doctor continues to speak but neither of us are listening. Harry's nearly ready to cry and I'm on the verge as well.

"I'm sorry," the doctor sighs, shaking our hands and walking out the room. As soon as he's gone, I stand between Harry's legs and hold him as he breaks down.

"Just listen to me," I whisper, his sobs paining me.

"It's not for sure. Whatever you need, I'm here. I'm not going to let you this stop you."

I pull my head out of his neck and look at him, wiping his tears and kissing over his face.

"If you want a child, I'm going to help you. We can try every month if we have to, because I will stand with you through this. I'll stop my birth control and do whatever it takes to fulfill your needs. This is not going to stop us," I try, his arms holding me tightly.

"You'd do that?" he asks, crying his way through the question.

"I'll do anything for you," I reason, his beautiful green eyes spilling over with more tears.

"Reagan," he chokes, my arms holding onto him.

"We'll be okay," I say, comforting him until his last tear falls.

Over the span of the next couple days, I'm constantly with Harry. He doesn't allow me out of his sight and he's constantly holding me. The adoration I'm receiving makes me feel cared for; needed in someone's presence.

"Do you want anything for your birthday?" I ask, his head shaking.

"Just some good cake," he nods, my lips curving.

"I think I can do that," I smile, kissing his dimple before he relaxes into the pillows.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, his features illuminated by the moonlight.

"Better. My dick has returned to normal," he sighs, my heart dropping.

"That's good to hear," I say, kissing his forehead.

"Yeah, but it's useless now."

"Stop saying that. You know that you aren't permanently infertile. The chances are there but he said it may not be for a while," I fire at his sour attitude, attempting to boost his optimism.

"You don't know that. I wanted a kid and the irony of the situation overcame it. I'm no longer able to produce my own baby," he sighs, my head leaning on his chest.

"I don't like how pessimistic you are," I tell him, his heart beat soothing my irritation.

"Well, I don't like being told my future is shot to hell."

That's when I climb out of bed, grabbing my shoes and shutting the door behind me. The tears fall and I walk to the apartment building's gym, shedding my coat and striding onto the treadmill. I run until I can barely breathe; my tears and the burning sensation in my lungs too much.

His future was dependent on children. Not me. It hurts to hear that when you try so hard to comfort them, they're still too blind to see that they're your future. Harry hurt my feelings whether he knows it or not. There isn't a reason I should be happy with this right now because I told him I'd do anything for him. Now, he doesn't even see me in his shot to hell future.