Ache and Hunger ~Complete~

Chapter 25: Girl talk, Tea and A kiss

Soulmates. I broke the kiss as I felt my eyes start to water. I swallowed the forming lump in my throat and attempted to blink the building tears away. Lilith pulled her hand back just as the microwave beeps.

She poked the tip of my nose and spoke my thoughts out loud, "Even if I was your soulmate, you would still be freaked out and afraid right now."

I lifted my hands up to pull down on my ponytails as I groaned out the words, "Why am I like this? What is wrong with me?"

"There is nothing wrong with you", She told me as she walked around the counter and placed my cup of tea in front of me.

She sat beside me and grabbed my left hand. She started to trace the lines on my palm as she nonchalantly asked, "So he ruined you last night, want to explain that?"

I turned to face her and smirked at her question. I grabbed ahold of my cup with my right hand and brought it up to my lips. I blew on the heated liquid before taking a few small sips. I felt calmer as I drank, I smiled at Lilith as I spoke, "You are the tea master, Lil."

She rolled her eyes at me and lightly tugged on my left hand. Her voice came out with a yearning and urgency, "Answer my question."

"Yes", I answered her. I licked my lower lip before biting on it, I let my eyes flutter for a second as memories of last night flooded the forefront of my mind.

Then I continued with a smile, "it was perfect. A nice balance between pleasure and pain that was just mmm, delicious. I'm still sore right now! The only reason I'm sitting is to detract myself from having a meltdown over the whole soulmate thing!"

"I'm happy for you. I was worried he'd do too much at once. He could get very carried away in the past", Lilith told me with a slightly far off look on her face.

I took a few more sips of my tea before I questioned her. Hoping that she'd take the bait and I would put off talking about this morning for a little longer, "So how was your night?"

"Nope", She said popping the P hard, with her lips. She threads our fingers together as she continued with a serious look in her eyes, "Ask me your real questions."

I let out a sigh and took a larger swallow of the now, warm tea. I looked down at our hands as I asked, "What does having a soulmate mean?"

"It means and feels different to each species. For demons, soulmates are a power boost, a trophy, a great sex partner that will produce powerful heirs. But that's general demons. Corciel and I are high ranked. We're half sex demon, half tormenter. Which means, in addition to all that our soulmate will be targeted to get to us for our power, " She explained as I continued to sip on my tea.

I felt her eyes leave my face, trailing down to our interlocked fingers. She took a deep breath before she continued, "You need to know that this is all your choice. What you feel when you touch Corciel or Baltazar is just your soul getting excited. It doesn't mean that you have to be with them in any way. You can say no to them and move on with your life. I will keep you protected either way."

I placed my cup down as questions started to fall out of my mouth like word vomit. My hands started to shake a little. I released my cup of tea as my chest got tight, "So if I do say no. It won't break the bond between them and me? What if your brother doesn't take it well? What if he goes all yandere on me and kidnaps me? I don't want you fighting with your brother over me? Oh fuck, what if your brother and Baltazar kill each other because I told them no?"

Lilith cupped my cheek with her left hand, turning my head up to face her, "You're spirling. Breath Alexis."

I closed my eyes and took in slow deep breaths. In through the nose out through the mouth. The tightening my chest started to ease, I squeezed my fingers against hers, with my right hand.

"All of those things could happen, but you know what else could happen? They could respect your decision and give you the distance to live your life the way you want it. I'm not sure how having a soulmate works for angels, but I am one hundred percent sure that you, Corciel and Baltazar have the ability to learn to live without soulmates and be just fine", Lilith told me as she caressed my cheek for a few moments.

Her hand left my face and I opened my eyes staring at her. She looks completely confident that what she is purely factual, undeniably correct. Yet, why does that make me so sad? Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lilith pushed my cup of tea towards me again. I grabbed the cup and took a few more sips from it.

I looked down at my tea, thinking. Why did the thought of them learning to live without me make me so sad? Maybe it was because I didn't want to be alone forever. Maybe because it was comforting somehow knowing that I have two people that will be with me forever.

Comforting and utterly selfish, on my part. If we can leave each other, then what's the point of being soulmates? What if this is all some big lie? I looked up at Lilith pulling my eyebrows together as I asked, "The heat and light that I feel when I touch them, can they just be making me feel that on their own? Is this just some cruel joke?"

"What you feel when you touch them comes from you, not them. That's a universal rule for every species when it comes to soulmates. No one can replicate it or trick you into thinking they're your soulmate unless their a witch and I know that none of you have pissed off any witches", She told me with a serious look on her face.

I took a few more sips from my tea before I asked two more questions, "Did your brother lie to me because he was scared of how'd I react? Also, how do you know Baltazar?"

Lilith gave me a smile that made me feel like I wasn't going to live the answer to my questions, "That question is for my brother and for the second question, I know Baltazar because I was trying to get to another Angel by the name of Torriat. All because my brother said Torriat gave you a dirty look, which is unlike Angels. They only really care about their charge."

"Is that safe, you messing with Angels?", I asked her concern dripping from my voice before I took a few more sips, "I mean maybe your brother is just being paranoid?"

"I'd rather be safe than sorry when it comes to those I love. Don't worry, I won't start a war or anything, I could just say I'm defending an angel's mate and they can't touch me", She explained with a shrug of her shoulders as if it were no big deal.

"Have you been able to get any answers about Torriat?", I asked her with worry etched in my voice as the worse case scenarios started to play in my head.

"Are you sure you're done asking your questions about the soulmate thing?", She asked me in turn with a slightly raised eyebrow.

I lifted her hand and left a few kissed on her fingers before I answered her, "Yes, thank you, Lilith."

"So are you going to give them a chance to be with you or not?", She asked with a slight tilt of her head.

I picked up my cup of tea and drank the rest of it, to avoid giving her an answer for just a bit longer. 

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment! The next chapter should be up 9-27-19. 

Remember if you can't wait till then, you can always read ahead on my Radish account, My username over there is Wanna_beloved3