SAY NO MORE

Near The Conclusion

Yaya is now lying as still as a statue. Her chapped lips show no signs of breathing. Her skin, once golden brown, is tainted with pale whites. The sparkling eyes and the luscious lips I used to stare at are now sealed.

And her hair... gosh, never in my life I have seen the most beautiful brown curls in the whole universe than Yaya's. All those long twirls and swirls, they complete her perfectly. The thought of her without her hijab didn't even crossed mind. At this moment, thinking of it makes me forget that she was dead.

I smile and lightly stroke her locks. They are soft and tender in my hands, which makes me let out a sigh.

She's so stunning, I thought, even in her death bed.

Instantly reality pulls me back and I glimpse back her bewailing death.

"I'm a horrible boyfriend, Yaya," I exclaim. "Because of this tragedy, I don't think I can continue living again. All the future dreams we've made, they all just gone up to smoke. Because I burned it into ashes."

I kneel down beside her right and mournfully let every tear stream down my face.

"I'm sorry, Yaya," I wail as I kiss her forehead. "I'm sorry!"

Like a dog without its mother, I continuously cry for my dear Yaya and our lifeless love. The love of my life has regretfully left me with nothing.

However my thoughts never stop from there.

"If only I was there for her," I say, my hands tremble with new guilt. "None of this would've happened. None these deaths would've happened to my friends. I'm so dumb to foresee these events. Mom, Dad, I'm really a misfortune to this universe. Oh, God, take me now this instant. There's no purpose for me to live without them. Kill me... please."

"Do you?"

My head jerks up and finds a teenager kneeling at Yaya's left side. He is staring solemnly at my girlfriend as if he knew her for a long time. His poison purple cap hangs so low that I cannot see his eyes and hair. His dark jacket has the same color as his cap, butit somehow inhabits a menacing aura. Equal to a dark phantom and a white lady.

But what surprises me the most is his voice. It's male, it's young, and it's almost... like my voice.

"Who are you?" I firmly ask, brushing away my tears.

"Nobody," he cooly replies. "Just a dark shadow lurking behind you."

Then the boy faces me and I gasp in astonishment. Standing before me is me! but in different color.

Another element!

"H-How are you here??" I ask, my voice now quivering. "I haven't s-s-splitted into three, and I don't even recog-cognize you."

He shrugs. "Mark Twain quotes, 'Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anyone.' In this case, I am your shadow, Boboiboy Dark."

His words are as cold as the night, and it really shivers my bones. Making myself numb. It's uncomfortable to be here, but at least I'm talking to Death right now.

Arching one eyebrow, Dark notices my numbness. He instantly fades in the shadows and reappears next to my side.

I want to scream, but he touches my lips with his pointer finger and shakes his head.

"When Death comes to you, all you have to do is ask," he says. "Not scream.

"Now then," he glances back at my Yaya. "You need them all back, right?"

I follow his gaze. By 'them,' Dark means... my parents and friends. Wait, does he plans to resurrect all of them from the dead?

"Not today," he replies, reading my thoughts. "But only in the past."

I cock my head. "What do you mean?"

"Being the chaos element," he explains. "I do not hold the power of raising the dead.  That is only the act of the Almighty, which chaos does not possess. I can only turn back the clock, where that source of chaos had started growing. In your case, that was after the Sunnova Station incident. Then I will supress the chaos and everything comes back to the way it was before."

"Then let's do it," I quickly say, my heart now filled with new hope. "Turn back time and—"

"However that's not how it simply works," he interrupts. "In order to perfectly supress that chaos, I need to kill the source too. And that, Boboiboy... is you."

All my hopes instantly dies out as I incredulously gawk at Dark. "So, you mean... in order for them to live, I must be killed???"

But what about my friends? my thoughts screams. I'm supposed to be there for them always. I mean, who's gonna protect them when danger comes around again? I owe everyone a deal of gratitude. They're the reason why I am this person right now. Protecting them is my only payment. Why then should I leave them? Especially Yaya, who's starting to have a brain tumor. Come to think of it, even if I went back in time, I won't be able to save Yaya from the explosion.

"Yes, you can't," Dark reads my mind again.  "But you can warn her by the time you wake up. After you're recovery, she was exposed to many radioactive waves in just one month. Warning her is the best help you can only do for her."

"But that doesn't take out her problems—"

He clears his throat. "'When there is no cure for a stage 1 cancer, your priority is to prevent the carcinogenic cells spread thoughout all the patient's brain.' Page 1264 of De Liza's Guide for All-known Diseases."

He pauses for a while, then: "I warned you, didn't I? One year ago."

Suddenly my mind clicks on and I remember him from my dream.

You will regret it.

You'll just make them suffer more than your enemies could.

You will just create misfortune to your loved ones.

"Oh, dear," I gasp, slowing clawing my face. "What have I done?"

Dark knew. 

He knew, but I didn't listen.

He tried, but I ignored him.

He cared, but I... I...

"I should have listened to you," I whisper, guilt now eating me raw. "I should have. I shouldn't..."

Once again tears fall from my eyes, this time it is more hotter than ever. Because that's pain. The pain of my aching heart. I really did killed them all.

Oxygen around me suddenly goes low as I gasp for forgiveness. But how can I when guilt is choking me to death?

I deserve to die.

"Joseph Campbell quotes, 'All the gods, all the heavens, all the hells, are within you,'" Dark concludes coldy. "Whether it is living your life flavorless, or rewriting their destiny, the choice is still yours, Boboiboy. But if I were you, being in the chaos for your friends isn't so bad after all."

And then instantly I know now what to say.

What to do.

And when to die.

"Dark," I stand up and face my shadow. "Take me away."

He smiles at my decision, and his dark hands squeeze my shoulders. Then dark ashes rise out of nowhere and swirl around us. The temperature begins to get colder by the minute. My body begins to have a lot of cramps, but I endure it. I have to, I think.

"Close your eyes," he orders.

I did what he asked, and instantly I feel the present torn away from the both of us.

"Dark time looped: July 19, 2016..."

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