Music tracks used (in order):
"Say Goodnight" by Bullet For My Valentine
"Clarity" by Zedd
"Give Me A Sign" by Breaking Benjamin
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The surface of the ocean above was obstructed by dark black waves of nimbus. No pause since the morning in the incessant rain - the cats and dogs rain. I almost thought of skipping school today, then let it go. Once some girl from my class commented, "Wanna hear a proverb? In the Apocalyptic world, the names the attendance sheet will contain are Nicole and Abigail."
Naturally my loneliness vented through the heavy downpour. Weird. I was the kind who savored such saturnine weather to the core. Solitude was so sodding dismal! The wonderful day was just ruined.
I might not have the previous affinity, still Pam played the role as my companion the best. No discomfort, no discomposure, no discomfiture I felt around her - just like the old times. The classes without her were spent with ease, but for some reason I wanted her during the recess. Maybe my other pals would get engaged with one another or into some activities.
Although the two of the most expected persons - Pam and Shawn - according to me were in my vicinity. Unlike the random days, my joblessness diverted my mind to the weak spots. Bloody hypocritic grey matter! The more I wanted to avoid the two of them, the more I found their presence around me.
"I live my life in misery
I'd sacrifice this world to hold you
No breath left inside of me
Shattered glass keeps falling"
Today was not any ordinary day. An idle mind is a devil's workshop. With my backpack hung on the shoulder, I wandered across the corridor. Did I lack the entertaining ingredients? I wasn't the type. I could bloody seek out a positive ion for the blasted sodium (poor sodium, it was one to let go, now one more added) - I was that much optimist! But I wasn't simply feeling well today, my body was giving up on me as well.
It was too frustrating. The super interesting topic - SHAWN - to discuss with Pam was not enough for me. I preferred to daydream this theme anytime anywhere, but not for all day long. This made me splenetic, this trifling topic.
The specific feeling, termed as love, had been felt by me for seven days, yeah just seven days. But all of the seven days! Actual attraction towards opposite sex. No philosophical or philanthropical love. The sophomore year. The Shawn.
Shawn Dewken. The heart-throb of school. The 6'3 height. The masculine pumped up physique. The Greek God face. The regular A-grader. The irreplaceable defender of the school football team. When I was busy expanding and elaborating on my imaginary land, he out of the blue flashed in front of me one day. I never noticed him in school before. He was as if a character emerged from one of my fantasies.
And perhaps this was what is called crush. I found its definition in the Oxford dictionary - a strong, usually short-lived feeling of love for someone. Holy! Exactly nothing but that was what I went through! While pronouncing these two terms - crush and infatuation - they snatch the last sip of breath out of your lungs.
Dictionary never failed to meet me with my expected terms. For example, while turning over the pages of the dictionary, I came across the term swashbuckling. And I believe myself to be a swashbuckler in my dreams - having a daring and romantic adventure. There are more - joyriding, I was writing some lyrics then - driving a stolen car away and hurrah. Proper word.
YOU ARE READING
Confessions of A Different Teenage Dream
Teen Fiction"...Marlow was so in love. He loved something worthy. I looked up at his glinting eyes. They said it all. He was unaware of my hand holding his firm grip. He was already full of love." _______________________________________ If you are familiar with...
