Chasing The Stars ✔️

chapter twenty three - incredulous

"Ah, see, I'm only a producer - the only thing kicking my butt is not having the right sandwich for lunch." Kirk grins, obviously enjoying his teasing.

"Whatever, Kirk. Whatever." I roll my eyes, forcing a smile despite my exhaustion from sleepless nights restricting it.

"Okay, well I think that's everything sorted until the next meeting. See you next week at usual spot?" Kirk asks, raising his eyebrows in question.

"Yeah, sounds good. See you then." I agree and we sign off.

I sigh to myself and then become suddenly aware of how much silence really consumes this apartment. I work and I attempt to sleep, that's all I do these days. There's nothing else to do and there's nothing I want to do. James stayed for the weekend, but he's long gone now, away doing something complicated in university.

Usually I have people. I have Alex here or I'm with her. Usually if I'm filming I'll have people suffocating me. Noah was here last night as I ranted yet again about our fight but I know that he's doing some sort of interview today. Realizing I'm out of options, I change into a white t-shit and grey sweatpants before sitting down with cereal and some crappy TV show. Having an afternoon to myself actually seems okay when I relax into it, my home comforts lulling me into a feeling of security.

I'm about to watch another episode of TV when a buzzer sound from my door, going over I see it's reception trying to contact me.

"Hello?" I ask, speaking into the mic.

"Hi, Mr Williams. There's a Doug McKing wanting to see you."

Pure, hot, racing adrenaline shoots through me. My palms gather sweat and the hair on the back of my neck stands up, like my body is waiting for its final blow. Maybe this is it. Shutting my eyes in annoyance and frustration, my mind has a tsunami wave of thoughts crashing down onto it.

He'll know about the article, that's a given. But should I tell him the truth? Do I explain or deny? Do I even let him in? It's not as if I can refuse him, he's a main leader on Queries. A show that I love filming so much that I don't know if I'll ever find something so fulfilling ever again.

Unable to make confident decisions, I go with my gut as I force the next few words out.

"Yeah, let him up."

"Will do, Mr Williams."

Just like that, my death warrant has been signed by myself. Betrayal of Alex and I's relationship in every drop of the ink.

I have about one minute to gather myself and change into jeans. That's sixty seconds of trying to be sure that I can form full sentences before there's a knock on my door. A knock that echoes. A knock that I don't want to answer to. Wiping my hands down my jeans, I blow out a breath before answering the door, coming face to face with the man who can rip down my most precious dream with no second thoughts.

"Hi, Doug." I greet, meeting his eyes as I fake confidence.

The confidence is stripped down by his next sentence in one swipe and I regret opening the door in the first place.

"I want answers, Theodore. I want them now." Doug demands, his face twisted with fury as he clutches a piece of paper.

"Whats that?" I ask, indicating to the sheet as I attempt to distract him.

"Something that you may or might not get. It's your new contract that's available for changes, but whether I give it to you or not depends on your next couple of words."

I nod in understanding but my heart is thundering at a horse's race pace as I open the door wider to Doug and motion him in, knowing that this is going to take a while. What I'm going to explain, I don't know, but I do know that whatever I tell him is going to have to be well backed up.
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It doesn't help that he's holding what Alex and I dreamed about for eight months in his hand, either. The nights we've spent talking about this moment are endless, the scenarios we imagined were limitless. But now, I'm doing it all alone. Funnily enough, that was never a scenario we talked about.