21 Questions

1.

Alex sat on the ground of the elevator for what felt like hours trying to figure out, not only what just happened, why it happened, how it went so wrong so quickly, but also where her room was. Never in my right mind would I have willingly sat down in a public place, she thought to herself, but that's the thing, I wasn't in my right mind. After, I stumbled to the elevator, still tipsy from all the shots of tequila we took and sore in ways I never thought possible, I pressed the down button, his room was on the top floor so there was no other option, hoping it would jog my memory. It didn't. When the elevator finally came I slowly walked in, gathering myself and trying hard not to make sudden movements because my head was pounding and the world around me was spinning. I only had two shots, okay perhaps it was two each time, so a total of four, I think? Regardless, that's not a lot for me. Not usually. You see my tolerance is high, really high, but maybe this liquor was stronger. What was the name of it again? What did the bottle even look like? I don't remember. I only remember the cups -- the ones that you use for coffee that come wrapped in hotel rooms, because he kept handing them to me, flashing that same magnificent smile that made me fall for him to begin with. So, maybe they were regular sized shots, that has to be it. I walked straight back to the left corner of the elevator, and let the doors close on it's own. I couldn't remember that floor was mine. I just stood there, was it 8 or 14? Why can't I remember? I've never forgotten my room number before. I've stayed in plenty of hotels and have been drunk in more than one, but for the life of me every time I thought of my room, I drew a blank.

Luckily, because I wasn't the only person in the hotel that was up at 2am, it began to move on its own towards the floor that called it. Slowly the floors we illuminated on the wall as we passed them, 29, 28, 27,...each floor punctuated with a distinct ding. When the elevator started to slow the doors opened on the 5th floor revealing a couple that looked not much older than me. They stepped on mid conversation and the guy instinctively pressed 'L' for lobby. I wonder what they're doing up so late. I've definitely seen them around the hotel before. I mean it's pretty hard to miss them. The guy looks like he's just stepped out of a Calvin Klein ad and his wife, well soon to be wife judging by the enormous ring on her finger, smells and looks like a Victoria's Secret model. They are so engrossed in their conversation about their upcoming nuptials they were having outside the elevator they barely even seemed to notice me when they got on. Granted, this elevator is pretty big and I'm in the corner, but still. They also didn't think twice about the fact that no buttons were pressed on the elevator panel even though I was in there. When he reached forward and pressed the close button, they were silent for about two floors before she asked him about the color the table clothes should be. When he quickly responded white, their conversation started right back up again. The future wife to be was intent on describing in excruciating detail why white table cloths were the absolute worst possible color for a wedding. It's boring, it's been done before, and they get dirty way too easily. It's official, there was no way they would have noticed a young black girl in the corner of an elevator. I was of no importance to them. However, when they reached the lobby level and the doors opened, to my surprise the man apologized to me for filling up the whole elevator with their conversation and told me to have a good night and the woman gave me a quick smile over her shoulder, but not one of them realized that I didn't get off the elevator with them. So they did notice me, but clearly they didn't see me. I watched them as they headed towards the patio doors, most likely for a late night smoke, I could smell the lingering scent even after they left, still talking about tablecloths as the elevator door began to close again on her, but not for the second time.

When the elevator doors finally shut, the car didn't move for a while. Maybe 3 minutes, or 30 minutes had passed. Time felt like it both sped up and slowed down simultaneously. Frozen, in the eerie silence of the elevator Alex started to think back over the events that had happened earlier that evening and suddenly, all at once, a wave of emotions took over her entire body and she couldn't even bear to stand. Her body hit the back of the elevator and she collapsed to the ground crying. Hysterically crying. The type of whole body gut wrenching cry you only ever see in hospitals after someone gets bad news about a loved one or at funerals. It was the type of cry that drowned the whole world out and it did for Alex.