Your Friend, Jordan

Four

Eleven years ago..

Timmy Nolan laughed as he swiped my lunch off the table, leaving me with only the paper bag, a napkin and an empty table as the rest of the kids in the classroom didn't even seem to notice. As if I was invisible, and no one cared what was going on. Too focused on talking to their own little group of friends they had just made that year, entering the first grade as we had finally began to attend full days of school, instead of only halves like the year earlier in kindergarten. Trust me, it was a huge change for me, not so great in a way as I was then forced to bring a lunch and eat with the kids I had in my classes, instead of being picked up every day by my mom or something. Staying for lunch had developed into something not enjoyable for me, while this right here, having my lunch taken from me by Timmy, had occurred almost each time. But I didn't know what to do; I never knew what to say, I just let him do it, like I didn't have another option, like I couldn't do anything else. I was completely clueless, and that only made me feel more sad and excluded from the other kids, and I felt that enough as it was.

  With the lunch supervisors and staff wandering around the classroom, they didn't  seem to notice or pay attention either, while they continued to speak to other classmates of mine. I even seemed invisible to the teachers in the school, hardly looking at me in class when lessons were being taught or speaking to me in between our classes. Although, of course it seemed they only saw me when they asked questions to the class, while no one else answered their questions and they began to pick on other kids in the room for the answer. Without doubt, you can bet they always chose me first, looking for the answer, and sometimes I was just lucky enough to guess the right one. But that wasn't too often for me, I didn't seem the greatest with luck.

  Folding my hands in my lap, I slouched as I peered to the floor, not sure what to do in that moment as I looked at my empty table now, with no one else around me. The other kids within my table group hadn't come to school that day, for reasons I wasn't sure on but it really didn't matter to me. It wasn't like they were my friends or anything, I didn't have much of those. It had only been a few months into the new school year, and I still hadn't made many friends. The two kids I used to hang around with the year before in kindergarten had gone to a different school that year, and I was stuck all alone. I hadn't made any new ones, but it seemed everyone else already had made their groups in kindergarten as well, and weren't accepting any newbies. Although maybe it was just me; maybe I was the one who was nervous to talk to other people, and to approach them, not the other way around. Maybe it was me who didn't want to make new friends, or talk to others I didn't know. That could have been it, I wasn't too sure.

  Crumpling up the paper bag as I put the napkin inside, I got up and just threw it out after a few moments, stepping towards the garbage can that was near the door. Counting down the minutes on the clock, I was looking forward to the recess bell to ring within another five minutes maybe, giving me the excuse to leave the room and hide away outside in one of the cubbies close by the school. Grabbing my Nintendo Game Boy from my bag like every other day, I would stuff it in my pocket and take it outside with me, concealing myself in one of the cubbies indented on the side of the school, opposite side of the swings and play structure, where none of the other kids could see me. Those hide outs were like my secret little places to get away from everyone else. Having the peace and quiet to myself for the forty minutes our lunch recess consumed, the time was passed by quickly as I played my few games I brought with me to school. My favourite being of course the SpongeBob SquarePants game, I practically lived for that show back then. I was so thrilled when I received it as a birthday present during the month of March that same year, and you can bet I played it almost every chance I got. At the time SpongeBob was my favourite show, I had watched every episode to the date I believe, and no matter how many times I watched the same re-runs, I never got sick of them. Ever, and I wasn't sure if that would ever change.