Choosing My Heart's Direction (1D FanFic)

Try Again

"We can't," I whispered.

Louis closed his eyes for a few seconds before reopening them, tears dangerously close to spilling over. "Lex, I can't keep doing this. This whole relationship is a mess, and now you don't even trust me enough to tell me things as important as you went and talked to Josh. How can I trust you?"

I shook my head. At least he thought I'd only talked to Josh. That was good, right?

"How did you find out?" I asked, tears spilling down my face.

"Josh sent me a picture of you two drinking coffee or something. But that's not important."

I nodded. Louis was right. Our relationship was a mess. I wasn't even sure of my feelings for Louis anymore.

"So what now?" I whispered.

He let out another deep breath. "I don't know, Lex. I really don't know."

I shook my head, wanting it to all go away. Everything. I just wanted to start over. Start over from when I was born and just re-live my life.

But that's not possible.

"Maybe we should take a break."

As he said the words, it felt like a thousand tons of bricks spilling over me, crushing me to the ground. The first boy I had ever truly loved was dumping me.

A choking sob racked through my body.

"No, Lex, please don't cry," Louis pleaded. He began to reach for me, but quickly drew his arms back, wrapping them around himself.

I shook my head. "I just, I need to go for a run," I managed to choke out.

"Lex, it's like after midnight and I don't even know what city we're in. You can't."

I nodded, knowing he was right. His eyes were filled with sadness as he watched me slowly deteriorating in front of him.

"Shit," he whispered. "Lex-" he stopped, tears running down his face. "I just don't know anymore."

"What happened to us? We went from the perfect couple to hardly a couple at all."

"I have no fucking clue," he exhaled.

"I miss what we used to have," I admitted.

Louis nodded. "I do too. I miss it more than you could imagine."

"So it's over?" I asked, more sobs threatening to break through.

"I don't know."

I dropped my head in my hands. "Louis, what are we doing?"

"Dragging each other along."

He was right. Neither of us knew what we wanted, so we were just pulling each other along for the ride.

"What do we do?"

He shook his head, wiping some of the tears away. "What do you want?"

"I want what we used to have," I replied truthfully. Even though I may have feelings for Liam, that was what I wanted more than anything.

"Do you want to try again?"

His words reverberated in my head. Try again. Start over. That's what I wanted.

"Can we?"

His face lit up with a smile. "Alexis Indigo Davidson, will you be my girlfriend?"

I giggled, smiling at him. "Of course."

He closed the difference between us, wrapping his arms around me and planting a light, soothing kiss on my lips. I wanted there to be fireworks. I wanted to feel those butterflies in my stomach. But I didn't.

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"Lou, mate, are you here?" Harry called, walking into the bus, followed by the other boys.

"We're in here!" Louis called from where we were snuggled in the back of the bus.

The boys all walked in. "Why'd you leave?" Liam asked Louis.

"Um, stuff came up," Louis answered awkwardly.

"Probably just wanted a good fuck," Niall smirked. Nobody even cracked a smile at his comment. "Tough crowd," he muttered.

"Well, I'm exhausted," I said, standing up. "Goodnight boys," I smiled and walked out of the room, crawling into my bed.

A minute later, Louis appeared above me. "Goodnight, love," he whispered, kissing my forehead.

"Goodnight, Lou," I whispered back, falling into a dreamless sleep.