Betrayal (A Secret Draco Malfoy Love Story)

Haunted

I wish I could say I wasn’t affected by it. I wish I could say I was over him.

But I can’t.

The essence of him is everywhere.

He haunts me wherever I go.

It’s practically driving me to the point of insanity.

All that I have are memories. I still feel his touch on my skin, I still see the intensity of his eyes, I can still smell his wonderful fragrance, and I can still feel his protective embrace.

It is all an illusion. Or is it?

Did it even really happen? I’m not even sure anymore…

I replay the words that he said to me all the time. I find myself confused by them.

“If you can wait for me…If you can wait through everything and all of this…then I swear we can make this last.”

I hear the words clearly. I am haunted by this memory, as I desperately attempt to make sense of these words.

‘Through everything and all of this…’

What does that mean? Does it mean that he wants me to wait throughout this entire war? He wants me to wait through Voldemort’s rein…

Doesn’t he even consider that Harry might not win?!

Is he really putting our entire relationship to chance based of whether or not Harry can kill Voldemort?

And I doubt that that’s what he meant…but what else could he have bloody meant?!

He is insane.

This war could go on for ages.

But…does it really matter?

Exactly how long am I willingly to wait for him?

And that’s not even the whole point!

I’m having a baby…as crazy as it sounds and I shy away from the thought, it is happening. What if it’s not his? Does that change things? But at the same time, what if it IS his? Would he be willingly to be a father at 17? Would he stay with me?

And what about Harry?

I can’t even imagine the possibility of this being his baby…

How insane is that?

I don’t even know if we ever even slept together!

But what if I trusted that it was Draco’s and then what, ‘oh whoops, sorry! Not your kid after all!’

Besides, I mean, it’s a pretty good chance that it’s Harry’s too right?

Right?

Ugh.

I don’t even know anymore.

I’m driving myself mad in this house…

No, it’s not even this house.

It’s more like, nobody knows about Draco and I, and I have nobody to vent to about all of this.

Can I really figure this out all on my own?

I’m not willingly telling anyone about Draco and me.

I mean, can you blame me?

How well would that go over?

‘Oh yeah, by the way, I cheated on my boyfriend of two year, the guy who’s supposedly going to save us all from a crazy tyrant trying to kill pretty much everyone and take over the world, with his worst enemy other than said tyrant.’