south park: Kyle x Cartman

Chapter 9

Kyle's POV

It wasn't long until Cartman fell asleep. I wanted to stay longer with him but it somehow hurt more the longer I was close to him. Maybe because Cartman will never be as excited to be close to me as I am with him. It hurts. I would cry but I don't want to do that here.
I stand up and walk over to his desk and sit down. I would go down to the other guys but I don't feel like it.
I look over Cartman's desk and see a notebook behind some stuff in one corner. Looks like it could be a sketchbook so I take a look inside. There's some writing here....wait.. It can't be...
I turn around and look at Cartman. He's seems to be fast alseep. I turn back to the book on the desk and continue reading.
'It's fucking hard to have to see him everyday and not start singing about how much I love him..' I read quietly.
I can't help but smile and I can feel myself getting way too excited. I've never been happier. I close the book and put it back. I go back to Cartman and lie down beside him so I'm facing him. The only light in the room is from the lamp posts outside the window, but it's just enough for me to be able to see his face. He's so handsome. I gently run my fingers through his hair, it's always so soft. I then look down at his lips and stare for a while. I really shouldn't..
I still remember the first time I kissed him like it was yesterday.. Funny to think that it happened a bit over two years ago though.
I can't seem to take my eyes off his lips. It's just so tempting. But no matter how drunk I am I will not kiss him when he's sleeping and not able to give consent. It'd be creepy.

"Kahl?" Cartman says quietly. I thought he was asleep.

"Yeah?" I reply.

"What time is it?"

"Oh, I'll check." I reach into my pocket and look at my phone. "02:46 am."

"Okay, I'm gonna sleep then." He says with his eyes closed and buries his face in my neck. I feel his breath against my neck and I start to get these weird tingles through my body. I then feel something going on in my pants. Wait.. oh no... I start to shift around and Cartman groans as I move away from him.

"Are you still awake?" I whisper to him.

"Yeah, what?"

"Can we talk?" I ask.

"Sure." He says and sits up with his back against the wall. "About what?"

"Look-" I sit up and move so I'm beside him. "You know I really, y'know.."

"Like me?" He says.

"Yeah, something like that."

"And what about that?"

"It's just been really hard." I say. He looks at me with a questioning expression on his face and then down at my lap.

"You mean.." he points at my crotch.

"N- No! I don't- Don't look at that." I put a pillow in my lap. "I mean it's been really difficult to like you as much as I do and not being able to do anything about it."

"Oh, I see.." he looks me in the eyes. "So you just want to get to fuck me? Is that it?" He then says.

"NO! I- I don't mean that- I mean I would if you'd want t- no, I mean no." I start to get stressed. "I mean if by some chance you like me back, it doesn't mean we automatically have to be together, as a couple I mean." I calm myself down a bit. "I do want to be with you but if you like me but aren't ready for any commitments we could still hold hands and go to the movies without thinking about it too much." I take his hand in mine. "I'm willing to do whatever you want to do. I mean it." I give him a slight smile. "I just can't see myself with anyone else but you, Eric."

"I.." Cartman looks at me with a puzzled look on his face. "You called me Eric.. You never do that."

"I'm sorry, should I not call you that?" I apologised. I didn't want to offend him, I don't know which name he likes to be called y'know. Atleast I didn't call him Theodore.

"No, it's okay. It is my name.. It just feels more personal when you say it instead of Cartman" He said and chuckled.

"Okay, that's good." I smile.

"But I have one question."

"Yeah?"

"How much of my diary did you read?"

"I-uh.. Well, you s-see it-"

"I don't care that you read it, Kahl. I guess a part of me wanted you to because I couldn't get myself to say it outloud." He looked down at his hand, that I was still holding. "I have never stopped caring about you." He looked back into my eyes. "I meant it when I said I loved you back then, and I still do."

"I love you, too, Eric."