Life goes on

Chapter eleven: the tree

     Me and Adrian finished up talking and decided to head home because it was getting late. We were walking the Long way to our cars while talking.
     "So I know you probably don't want to be talking about this right now but what about Noah?" Adrian said cautiously knowing it was a sensitive subject.
     I looked at him studying his amazing facial features that I've known for what seemed like forever. I looked at his beautiful green-brown eyes that I've known since I can remember. "I don't know, I think I'm gonna tell him how it is. He hurt me, that was his fault. There was no reason for him to be like how he was. He had anger issues and I told him that countless amount of times but he never once listened to me. The whole relationship is lost and I'm just hurt right now. I don't know what to do."
     "I understand you are hurting Nazery and that's okay. And I am too, I mean such a good time for them to do these things to us so we could go through them together am I right?" Adrian said laughing causing me to laugh. "But hey, the good thing about all of this is we have each other. Now that I think of it everything is nothing without our bond we have together. I've missed this, Well us. Even if us being heart broke is the thing merging us together. I'm glad we're here where we are right now."
     I thought about what he said and it is really sad that we were only brought together by this. We should have kept our bond even though we had people in our lives that we had to take our a lot of time with. "Yeah I'm glad too."
     "Well it looks like this is where we part ways." I look at him confused. "Umm your car?" He says looking at me with concern.
     "Oh yeah sorry I guess I was lost in my thoughts. I'll text you sometime, let's try not to be separated again." I say laughing.
     "Okay, will do Nazery" He said as he was about to turn away and get into his car. I grabbed his arm just as his head turned away from me. I pulled him back and hugged him. 
     "Let's talk about us sometime" I say as I barry my head in his chest wishing I could never let go of him.
     "That sounds great. See you soon." He says in reply making my stomach go in knots filling with butterflies.
     I get into my car and just sit there thinking about tomorrow. Monday. The day I was supposed to talk to Noah about us even though I have already made my decision. How will I tell him? Will I be calm? Will it end in an argument? I don't know. I guess I'll have to find out.
I came home late that night, driving around not knowing where i was going or why i was. i needed to think about so much but so many things were on my mind. Noah, Adrian, Renea, Kaity, Jessica, even Kaden though we didn't talk much. as i was driving i saw these bushes that looked like there was something beyond them. i parked my car to see. i pushes past them and saw the most amazing view ever. a cliff not too tall hanging over a mini beach. the sky was beautiful. i wish i could be here with someone. someone that was special to me. not just in a friend way but a real connection. i was relaxed. staring at the reflection of the stars in the water, and wondering how it is out there.
it was getting late and cold so i decided it's time to go home. i snuck back in through my window. wondering why i was cutting my closest friends off, i felt myself dreaming. i was with Adrian, as happy as i could be. he loved me, in a real way. i could feel it. Renea was with Noah and they were happy as well. me and kaity got closer than me and Renea since she spent all of her time with Noah and less with us. we were all happy though. i wish it wasn't a dream.
Monday. the day i was supposed to talk to Noah about us. i went on my phone and texted him: meet me at the gas station on 8th street.
that's all i said. he responded with a simple "okay." i'm not ready.
the school day went by slow and i was dreading talking to Noah. in the classes i have with Renea we didn't talk. she looks like she had been drinking her problems away. casual Renea am i right. she knows i hate it when she does that but i know she thinks it's her only escape.
the time rolled around where the last bell rung and i had to meet Noah. i got there and sat at a table inside after buying a hot chocolate. i hear someone come in and sit in front of me. "why did you want to meet here?" Noah asked stupidly trying to make conversation. "because they have the best hot chocolate and i was craving it." i replied. "okay, whatever suits you best." Noah said as i looked up at him. his face is drained. he looks heartbroken. we both know that this is not healthy and we can't go back to how it was before, but only one of us is willing to admit that. "you know we can't go back to how it was before. it doesn't work like that. we both have caused each other too much pain to continue." i spit out trying to get this over with. "Nazery, with the amount of girls i could be with and doing so much worse stuff with, i chose you and only you. i love you and only you. your the only girl i could ever imagine spending my entire life with being happy. you have no clue how lost i have been without you. i haven't been able to sleep or eat. i know things are rough in your life but you have to remember that things are rough everywhere." the last part he said was so true and i'm not sure if i want to except that. "and you were the only boy that went out of his way to learn to love me. no one has ever done that before. i love you to the ends of my heart but honestly we can't do this anymore. i can't stand being hurt all the time and going to sleep at night wondering if i did this wrong or if i messed up there. it's an endless cycle of being hurt and being happy. i'm tired of wondering if your okay day in and day out. being with you was one of my biggest accomplishments but i think we should end it here and just have the memories of the good and bad." i say knowing that that's the best way i could explain things to him.
"so this is it huh." Noah says as he relaxes and realizes he can't try and fight for us anymore.
"i'll always have love for you Noah but right now we're broken, broken to the point we can't go back and just fix us. i'm sorry."
"no, i'm sorry Nazery. i should have been better i should hav-" i cut him off
"Noah," i grabbed his hand and held it with both of mine. "we both should have done many things instead but we can't change the fact that things happen."
"your right. it's been an amazing 8 months with you. and i hope you find someone that will treat you better than i did and will learn to love you at all of your points, high and low" Noah says as he's cane to realize we need to move on.
we both almost break into tears as we think about our time together and how it's coming into an end. we start to laugh at all the stupid things we've done and been through. maybe it's a start to an amazing friendship.
now time to talk to Renea and Kate.