~Unspoken mess~

Distant

I'm sorry I didn't talk to you all summer.
I said I was busy.
but I wasn't .

I hope you know I didn't mean to ignore you.
to shut myself out from the world.
to not tell you anything.
to keep a lot of secrets.

It's not that I don't trust you.
I just don't know how to tell you.
I don't know how to tell myself.

I don't wanna drag you down
into the bottomless pit of all my problems.

I don't wanna drown you
in all the tears that'll cry.

I don't wanna lose you
because you're the only friends I have that might actually understand.
I don't wanna be alone.

But I get distant.

And when I get distant I get mad.
Mad at myself because all the problems that I carry are way too heavy for me to hold.
but I carry them anyways.
'cause if I don't
then they'll just drag me down

like being thrown into the water with the weight of your problems tied around your ankles.

And when you try to swim to the surface
you can no longer see it
because you've been drowning for so long you've barely even noticed.

And the air you need to breathe to stay alive
was never really there
because neither were you.

~k.w.a.v
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I guess this is just about my friends because they've been trying to make plans with me all summer but I've been busy. And sometimes I was actually busy but other times I just didn't know how to get out because the weight of my problems were dragging me down.
Looking back, I wish I did make plans with them because now summer's almost over and we didn't get to hang out at all because my problems kept getting in the way.

The picture above is mine.
I went to high falls it was fun