Insecure Too (Completed)

24

Yazmine


"Thanks for meeting me." Amari told me this as I slid into the chair opposite her. We were at Starbucks, and in one hand I held a Very Berry Hibiscus Refresher. "I didn't expect you to come."

I hadn't either, but here I was. I just nodded at her, not quite sure how to start. Or what to say. Or why I was here.

Luckily, she kept talking. "You look good."

I managed a, "Thanks, you too."

It was true. She looked nothing like the girl we saw at the album release party. Her skin was clear and smooth and blemish free. She had her hair in a simple ponytail, and it was her natural hair, flat ironed. She wore a pretty, orange blouse, that bared her shoulders. One gold necklace with a cross adorned her neck.

"Look Yaz, I can't even begin to say how apologetic I am. I was extremely immature with how I handled the whole..." she trailed off. "Situation." She swallowed. "So, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It was a stupid thing to end ten years of friendship over." Her eyes were soft, not hard or calculating and I wanted to trust her.

But I had something to get off my chest too. "I'm sorry too. To be honest, I wasn't moving like a best friend either, so it's not all on you."

"It's ok, I know you were just-"

"Jealous, I was jealous of you, and I resented you sometimes, and I kept it all bottled up until it exploded. And for that, I'm sorry."

"Well, obviously, I was jealous of you too." She gave a laugh, but it wasn't a happy one. "It's so sad, huh? We had to be the stereotypical females, and ruin everything because of jealousy. Stupid."

It was sad. "I appreciate you reaching out and trying to make things right." I felt emotions welling up. "I missed you."

"I missed you too bitch," she said, sniffing. "Nah, don't make me cry, bitch!"

"Okay, okay," I laughed. It felt so easy, being there, laughing with her. "So tell me what's been going on."

"Well." She sat up straight, and touched her hair, nervously. "So I just been going through so much shit, that I finally broke down and started therapy. At first I was all., typical Black person, like I don't need this, and what's the point, but..." She sighed. "It really has been helping, like a lot. After I...after the abortion, and coming back home, and trying to get back to the best version of me, I just... I needed it. Like I'm in a way better space mentally and emotionally. I've been working on my self-worth issues. And, yeah."

It was so refreshing to hear that she was making growth and progress. "I really feel you. Because I been working on mine too, and my headspace is so much more healthy. Now I feel like I'm the shit," I joked. I wanted to lighten a heavy situation.


"And you always have been," Mari added, eyes twinkling.

"I a thousand percent missed you, bitch."

"I a thousand percent missed you more, bitch." She switched subjects. "But what about you? How's life? School? Art? The boo?"

"It's pretty good. You know, I'm starting back school in a couple weeks, senior year. My art, I been selling small pieces, here and there. And Devonte is Devonte. That's my baby though."

"Mhmm." She eyed me.

"What?"

"So you gonna act like you don't got a big ass rock on your middle finger? Oh, aight."

"Ahh, shit!" I busted out laughing. "Yeah, I'm engaged. I'm finna be Yazmine Taylorrrrr."

"I'm really happy for you. I always knew he was the one for you, even back when you sat on the couch and wouldn't speak." She giggled. I thought back to how she immediately decided to fuck with Trey, and had encouraged me to talk to Devonte. When we wasn't being terrible best friends to each other, we had been good best friends to each other. "Oh, and I forgot to tell you, I'm back in school. I ain't gonna graduate when you do, but I'm back enrolled and I'm really doing this shit. I took summer classes and everything. And my grades ain't too bad either."

"I'm proud of you, bitch. What's your major?" Back at Unity, she hadn't decided on one before she went back to Atlanta, so I was curious."

"Graphic design."

It fit her. Like I had an eye for art in the physical sense, she had an eye for digital art. Back in high school, I was on a lot of committees with her, and she used to do all the flyers. She also did all the flyers for social media for kickbacks and shit. "Sounds about right."

We chatted for over an hour, catching up and falling back into comfortable conversation. Finally the conversation wound down, and I noticed her phone kept going off. "So you must got a nigga now, huh?" I teased.

"Actually, yeah, I have been talking to this guy." I didn't miss the way her face lit up. "His name is Kyden, he's doing his graduate degree at State. He's older," she offered me as background.

"Please tell me he's good for you and good to you."

"He is, he really is girl."

I would have to take her word for it. "So ya'll dating?"

"Yeah, that's my boyfriend or whatever."

"Wowwww." I never thought I would see the day when Amari settled down. She had never been the relationship type, in direct contrast to me. "You must really be feeling this Kyden nigga."

"Yeah, yeah. He feeling me too." She texted furiously on her phone. "But shit, I do have to run. Once again, thank you for meeting up with me and hearing me. We gotta do this again sometime. " Getting up, she grabbed her oversized bag, and her Starbucks drink. Bending down she gave me a hug, and I leaned into it.

"Nah, thank you. And definitely. Bye girl."

"Bye." She strutted off, phone to her ear.

I just sat there a moment, processing where we now stood. I harbored no more ill feelings towards Amari. But I didn't fully trust her yet. I wanted to ease into our new relationship, not dive into it. She seemed genuine, and I hoped that was the case, but for now I would operate delicately.

Which is why not once in our conversation did I mention Devonte's son.



Short. Missed me? I know nothing really happened yet this a lil filler or whatever.