Insecure Too (Completed)

15

Not edited. I know it's short and I know I been gone a while. I still love y'all 😂💜

Yazmine

My heart thudded in my chest, and it was so loud I feared that the whole world could hear it. A child? Devonte had a child?

It was clear that Za had been giving Devonte a hard time, but I had figured once he got to know him better, and could see what a genuine person he was, they would be cool. Now, I didn't know what to think. I stood on the steps, unable to move. I wanted to go down the steps and reassure Zaire that he was wrong, that there was no way this could be true. And where the fuck did he even get the idea that Tae had a kid? It wasn't even something in the blogs, or social media, nobody had ever come forward claiming to have his kid. This shit made no type of sense.

"Nigga, what are you talking about?" Devonte sounded more incredulous then anything. " I don't have a kid." I relaxed a little, but my feet still ain't wanna move. But I forced them to and both my brother and my boyfriend looked at me as I approached.

"The fuck going on Za?" My tone was hostile to my brother because this shit was so unlike him- he never was one to stir the pot or start nothing but I guess today he had time. "Why you coming to Tae with fake news?"

"It ain't fake Yaz, I wish it was but it ain't. "

"How you know?"

He was silent. Out of nowhere Devonte started laughing and I shot him a look cuz none of this shit was funny.

"Man, this some bullshit I swea." Devonte shook his head, as if he was completely at a lost as to what was going on. I knew I was.

"Why you think he have a kid?"

Zaire reached in his pocket and extracted his iPhone, and started scrolling. "You know her?" Suddenly the phone was in both of our faces. I ain't recognize the girl who graced the screen, but one look in Devonte's eyes and I knew he did. My heart sank.

"Shit. Yeah. Yeah, I know her." He covered his face with one hand, looking stressed out. "But this shit don't make sense bruh, if I got her pregnant why she ain't tell me? Why would she tell you?"

I was feeling lightheaded. Strangely I was reminded of when we were together the first time, and a girl was claiming he knocked her up. Turned out the bitch was lying, but I thought we left scandals like that in the past. "So its a possibility her kid is yours?" My question was for Devonte, and I turned to face him. His dark eyes were burdened.

"I mean I fucked if that's what you wanna know. It was a while back though, three years ago. So shit, I don't know."

"Oh my god, Devonte. Zaire why you ain't tell me? Why you told him, and why you just telling him?" I turned confused eyes on my brother. "How you know he might have a kid and he don't?"

"I ain't know until we was about to come up here, shit. I told one of my homeboys you was dating this nigga, and he told me he gotta kid. The baby moms is his cousin."

"She could be lying."

"Nah, I don't think she lying." Devonte interrupted us.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying, Yaz. What she gain from lying? She ain't bring none of this to the Internet, she ain't hit me up asking for no money or no shit, she ain't put me on blast. It's like she ain't want me to know about my child."

"He told me she said she ain't think nobody would believe her. I ain't know you ain't know though. That's my bad, cuz I thought yo ass was a deadbeat."

"I'm going home." My head was hurting and it was getting hard to breathe.

"We can't just leave Trey's shit, Yaz."

"Well maybe you all calm and shit but I need to know if this real, and until I know, I can't be acting like everything is everything!"

"Ima take her to the car." Devonte gave my brother dap and reached for my hand. "We out, man."

I allowed him to guide me out of the doors and down the sidewalk towards the parking lot. The sun was beaming, but I couldn't appreciate the beauty of the sunshine at that moment. All I could focus on was the thought that my man might have a child. I held all the questions I had back, kept the tightly in my mind, careful not to let them slip past my lips, and stoically followed Devonte to his car. Only when we were safely inside, with the A/C blasting did I speak.

"Who is she?"

The question hung in the air for a moment and Devonte seemed to gather his thoughts. "She was a friend, and it turned into something more. Then I went on tour and never saw her again."

"And you telling me she don't seem like the type of female to lie on her pussy."

"Nah."

"Well shit? Did she seem like the type of bitch to keep a man's child from him?" I was getting snappy now.

"Yazmine, I really don't understand this shit neither. But at the end of the day I'm going get a test. I ain't gonna sit here guessing I want to know."

"You sound like you already know."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean shit, why are you so adamant that it might be yours?"

"I ain't adamant, I'm just saying it could be. I'm saying it's a possibility."

"Who she is?"

"I told you"

"Nah, what's her name, her Instagram something. If you gonna get this test you need to hit her ass up and ask for one."

He shook his head. "Her name is Renee. I don't know her Instagram to be honest I don't remember it."

I rolled my eyes. "Try."

"You got an attitude? I don't understand how you gonna be mad at me for some shit I ain't even know about..."

"I ain't mad at you, I'm just...oh my God. Please, try and find her ass, and tell her you wanna test." Closing my eyes, I leaned back in the passenger seat and tried to gather my thoughts. I was wondering if I could handle the stress of having a public relationship with a rapper. I was wondering if I could handle baby mama drama. Last time Tae dodged a bullet, but luck like that usually don't strike twice.

"Baby, look at me." I forced my eyes open and they found Devonte's deep, amber ones. They were filled with sincerity but a hint of fear. Shit, I was scared too. Scared I would be selfish when Devonte needed me the most. "We gonna get through this, aight? Regardless of it is my child or not."

I couldn't respond. The words lodged in my throat. "Unless you tell me if it's my kid you can't do this relationship anymore." There was betrayal in Devonte's voice, and also heartbreak and I hated I was the reason.

"Tae, I ain't say that. Don't put words in my mouth."

"You ain't say anything, but now is the time to speak up."

"Honestly? I don't know what my reaction will be if this turns out to be true. But I'm not going to leave you because of some fucking rumor. Right now I just want answers." I shook my head. "I just don't understand why she wouldn't tell you. Something ain't adding up."

"Shit. You think she gonna let me do a test?"

"If she don't take her to court or some shit. But reach out to her so we can at least get the ball rolling."

"Aight. Yeah. I found her page. Damn."

"What?" I leaned over to see what had captured my boyfriend's attention. Most of the pictures were of a gorgeous woman with haunted eyes, and a perfect Hershey complexion. She was gorgeous, but I ain't think that's what made Devonte catch his breath. Then I saw him. He looked to be two years old, with the prettiest caramel skin, big dark eyes, with long lashes, and a dimpled smile. I knew that smile.

It was Devonte's smile.