better off.

millie's pov

1 month later.

autumn had arrived, the bright green leaves slowly turned into warm oranges, browns and reds. the floor became flooded with these brightly covered leaves, so much you couldn't even see the pavement. the cool autumn breeze hit my cheeks as the scent of coffee and cinnamon could be smelt as the coffee shop drew closer.

autumn had always been my favourite season. it always felt so cosy, the dark nights with log fires, hot chocolates and books. everything about it was so perfect.

but, this autumn was different. i felt more connected to the season than ever. just like the leaves, i was starting a new chapter. i had to.

i was turning over a new leaf as they say, leaving my past behind. including the person who meant more to me than anyone else.

that's when i meet eyes with him.

the boy who changed my life in the best and worst ways possible. but i was still so grateful for him.

it was hard for us today. our final day together before i move. i decided it was for the best, i had to have a fresh start. finn wanted to come, but he wanted to finish high school first. so for now, we were going to be separate, which we both knew would be painful.

"hey" i say softly as i sit down on the seat across from him, the early morning sun shining through the window of the coffee shop onto his face, making him seem even more beautiful.

"how are you?" he asks, gently holding my hand as i sit forward in my seat.

"ok, i guess, i just keep on thinking about- that night." i respond with a shrug. i hated talking about my feelings, because truthfully, half the time i didn't have a clue how i felt.

it had gotten worse since the incident. i killed someone, and it continued to haunt me daily since the second i shot him.

what's even worse, is that i faced no punishment, no jail time, nothing. the only punishment i seemed to face was punishment i was giving myself.

turns out, finn knew how to hide dead bodies well. i guess he had the experience since he's been in a gang half of his life.

so that's what we did. we removed any evidence of him.

and we got away with it. no one ever found out.

turns out martin had no close family or friends, he only had the gang. and even the gang couldn't stand him. he only had a few loyal partners.

at first, some of the members were curious to where martin may had disappeared to, however finn told them he had fled the country as the police were onto him and the gang.

this caused the gang to fall apart completely, over half the members leaving.

and now here we are. safe, together, in love.

but i still couldn't help but feel guilty. it was all i could feel.

"it's never going to end." finn suddenly says, interrupting me from my thoughts. "that feeling of guilt will never go away. trust me, i'd know. but it will get easier, i promise, and i'm here for you. always."

i smile at the boy sat in front of me, a warm feeling always came over me whenever he was present.

"i know, i just need... time." i say with a small sigh escaping my lips, rubbing my eyes tiredly.

"and i'll be here to talk to you, okay? i'm going to help you through this. i may not be next to you but we can text, call and face time. trust me." he reassures, caressing my hand carefully.

"i know you will finn. you are my boyfriend now after all." i say with a small laugh as i look at him softly.

finn looks at me silently for a few seconds, as if he was in deep thought. "do you ever think how weird it is? how much our relationship changed? i mean- we hated each other. and now we're dating."

"i don't think i ever really hated you. i was more just curious about you"

"i had no idea that you would mean this much to me. for the longest time you were just an on-going problem, always in the back of my mind, annoying me whenever i thought about you, but now- i need you." finn says, looking away from me awkwardly. he was never good at heart to hearts.

"hey" i whisper, holding up his chin with my index finger. "everything we went through- it's over now. it's going to get better, and we have each other. i can come visit, and we will talk everyday, okay?"

finn nods, before his eyes trail down to my lips. he leans in slowly before my lips crash against his. my lips explore his as his lips explore mine. it was passionate, as if we were letting out trapped emotions that we had kept locked up and we were longing to express.

"i love you so much" i whisper breathlessly against his lips as we rest our foreheads together.

"i love you too." finn says quietly as his gently tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.

we sit back in our chairs and talk for another hour or so, simply enjoying each others company. which felt odd, it felt odd to not have something to worry about, it felt odd to be able to enjoy spending time with each other so normally.

we finally pay the bill before exiting the coffee shop onto the street. we look at eachother for a few seconds before hugging each other tightly, not wanting to let go.

he strokes my hair gently, and i can hear him sniffle slightly as i begin to cry.

"i don't want you to go. i can't lose you." he whispers, his voice croaky.

"i have to go. you know that." i whisper, tears streaming down my face as i pull away from him. "you know i always used tell myself that i'm better off without you, that i don't need you in my life. but it turns out i do."

the end.

-

um so this is literally such an awful ending i'm-

to be truthful i began to hate this book and i've wanted to end it for the longest time now.. but i'm still glad i wrote it <3 maybe i'll make a sequel one day!

if you have any questions feel free to
ask!

- elle x