Without you.

Chapter 5 - Shattered

Rolling over, Willow reached out to the empty side of the bed.  Her eyes snapped open as she felt how cold the sheets were.  When had Emerson left the bed?  and how had he not woken her? She was a light sleeper and always noticed when he got up.  Rolling onto her back she let her hand fall to her flat belly.  Was there really a tiny human life growing inside of her?  A tiny death sentence?   No.  She couldn't think like that, plenty of women who had health concerns had healthy babies. 

She lay in bed trying to hear if anyone was moving around in the kitchen and didn't hear a  thing. It was early by the lack of light that came through the window.  She finally had to pee and forced herself out from under the blankets.  Padding sleepily across the room she opened the door and just stood there with a dumb expression on her face.   On the bathroom mirror, written in lipstick was a single word.

SORRY

( Rem POV   ) 

Someone was screaming?  He had been dreaming about running though a dark labyrinth, chased by god knows what and now there was screaming....Someone was really screaming.  He shot up out of bed in a blind panic, not caring that he was wearing only a pair of boxers.  Bursting out of his own room he stood there trying to figure it out.  Willow?  It had to be Will and if she was screaming like that then he knew instantly what had happened.  He had been waiting for this with a feeling of dread and helplessness.   He had known for far longer how lost Emerson had been. 

Sebastian hurried out of his room and they both ran down the hallway.  Emerson's room was empty and when he hit the doorway  all he could see was Willow on the bathroom floor, crying and clutching something.  Her screams had turned to whimpers and when he knelt down to touch her she instantly curled into him.   He wrapped his arms around her thin shoulders and looked over the top of her head to the tub.  Instantly wishing he hadn't.   He closed his eyes and let his own tears slide down his face. 

Sebastian ordered them out of the room.   He was numb and in shock as he picked her up off the floor.  She clung to him as she cried and at first he couldn't figure out what it was she held so tightly in her hand.  Stroking her hair he gave her words of comfort he himself did not feel and pried her hand open.  It was a positive pregnancy test and it was smeared in blood.  Throwing it against the wall he went back to stroking her hair as he tried not to fall apart himself.  He had known this day might come, had dreaded it and always thought that he would end his own life first. 

" We have to call mom. "    Seb was in the doorway, pale and shaky. 

"  We have call 911. "    Willow sobbed gently.

Rem traded a look with Seb and took the phone.  Still holding her with one arm he made the call to their mother. 

(  WILLOW POV  )

In her heart she knew that there was nothing anyone could do.  Emerson was gone and nothing would bring him back.  She almost got into the tub with him but her knees had given out from under her and she was falling to the floor, clutching the test  in a death grip.  She couldn't see straight and felt sick.  It hadn't even registered that Rem had picked her up and carried her to the bed.  She wanted nothing but to be with the love of her life and when Rem threw the test she almost went after it but her legs still felt weak.  So now they knew the truth and she needed to take her meds.  She stopped crying long enough to take the pills that Rem had so kindly gotten for her and curled herself into a ball under the blanket.  She stayed there long after the paramedics and others had come and gone.  It would be Seb who came in to urge her to get out of the bed and at least go into the kitchen.  Feeling like a Zombie she went to the kitchen and saw the roses in a vase on the table.  Fresh tears slid down her puffy face and she promptly turned around and went into Rem's room.  One of Emerson's shirts was on the floor.  She picked it up and put it on, crawling into the bed she closed her eyes and cried herself to sleep.  Late that night Remington crawled in with her and held her as she whimpered against his chest. 

"  I'm going to be an uncle. "   He said softly in the darkness. 

"  What if it was a false positive? "   Her voice was so weak and soft. 

"  It's not.  It can't be.  I might have lost my brother but I have you both to keep me going. " 

"  Thank you Rem.  I'm so scared. "  

"  Me  too.  It will be OK.  Sleep now and we can go see a doctor tomorrow.  Guessing you told him? "  

"   I didn't.  I left the test on the sink......"    Her words were lost in sobs that were muffled by his chest. 

They fell asleep like that.  Willow with her head buried in Rem's chest and his chin resting on the top of her head.  Seb put a blanket over them and left the door cracked open.  They never heard him as the bottles hit the wall and smashed all over the floor.  His own pain released in a long drawn out howl of rage.  Everything he had worked so hard for was gone, taken from him by one of the people he loved most and what would the world say now?  he didn't want to know and all he wanted was another drink.  Staggering out the door he picked a direction and began to walk.