The Beatles Imagines & Preferences

John #5

Request was anonymous but you know you who you are ;) hope you enjoy!

T I T L E  H E R E
A/N I- I can't believe I posted this without a title oof. I'll keep this one here to remind you of how dumb I am. Here's the actual one:

I N S E C U R I T I E S
&
S I N C E R I T I E S

It's not like you didn't notice that John's whole demeanour had changed these past few weeks. He smiled less, joked less and didn't have the enthusiasm for writing songs as he did before.

It was obvious to everyone that John was going through something or the other. But whenever you, or Brian and even Paul asked, he just flashed his famous Lennon smile and said:
"Yeah I'm fine you bunch of softies, stop asking or I'll have to give you a good nick." Then he proceeded to laugh and walk away.

But the laughter was empty and devoid of life. You had spoken to the boys but it seemed helpless, whatever John was going through, he did it alone.

***

You'd just gotten back from a band dinner with George, Paul and Ringo. John had decided to pass, like he seemed to be doing more frequently these past few weeks.

You were exhausted as it had been a hard day in the studio, being a sound producer was not as easy as it seemed to be.

When you were ready for bed you heard your phone ringing from downstairs. As you picked up the receiver you stifled a yawn to not seem rude to the caller. Who would call at this time anyway? You thought as your ears strained to hear the voice on the other side.

But all you heard were muffled sobs; furrowing your eyebrows you called out into the phone, "Hello? Is anyone there?" Again all you heard were some sniffs and choked cries.

Thinking it must be a prank call (those seemed to be becoming seemingly popular recently among the teens) you were about to put the receiver back into its place on the wall...

That is until you heard a soft voice speak, "Y-y/n, i-it's me J-John" Followed by more sniffs as he struggled to speak through his sobs.

Dread filled your body and your chest sank, "John? John is everything alright?" You spoke quickly, getting more anxious about your friend with every second that passed.

"N-not really, b-but it's not an emergency, god I'm stupid f-for calling, sorry y/n, g-goodnight" Before you had a chance to reply the dull drone of the disconnected line rang out.

Frustrated you whacked the phone into the holder and got your car keys. You weren't going to leave John in the state he was in alone. Even if he was too proud to admit it, he called you to come over and that's what you were going to do.

You revved your engine and began to drive to John's apartment, worry seemed to become more present in your chest the longer you drove, you just hoped he didn't do anything he'd regret before you got there.

It had started to rain when you arrived at his apartment, so you ran to the door and rang the bell, probably way too many times but you were too nervous not to.

Ten minutes later the door opened a crack, you couldn't see John much, just that his face was red and his eyes puffy from crying. "Y/n christ! What are you doing out there ? It's freezing." His Liverpudlian accent was strong and it filled you with relief to hear it, you were thankful he didn't do anything rash.

"Do you really think I was going to just go to bed after that call?" You were shivering as you heard John unlock his door.

"C'mere, you're daft you know that? Standing out there in the rain" John embraced you into a hug, that took you by surprise, John was not a very sentimental person, at least he didn't seem like it around others.

"I thought I would've gotten a thank you Lennon, not an insult" You jested with a smile as you sat on his sofa while he fetched a blanket.

John came back with a blanket over his shoulder and two cups of tea in his hands. He sat next to you and placed the cups in the table then pulled the blanket over you and your damp clothes.

He looked at you, sorrow in his eyes but a small smile on his face. "You're right, I'm sorry y/n, I shouldn't have called you"

You turned to him, "John don't be daft you can call me whenever you want okay? I'm always going to be here for you, don't you forget that." You say, almost sternly while John just nods his head.

The next few minutes were silent while Johan fire crackled and your tea warmed your body. You felt John's body turn on the sofa towards you. His eyes were down, looking into his empty teacup.

"Y/n... do you think I'm fat?" His voice was soft, so soft you barely heard it, but you did and your heart sank.

It all made sense now, you remember when that article came out, some stupid reporter called John "The Fat Beatle". You didn't think much of it because to you he was perfect the way he was. John seemed not to care either, in fact he read it to the whole room in a melodramatic way, holding the paper up in the air, before throwing it in the trash and getting a cupcake from the food table.

You remembered, everyone laughed, you did too... but John didn't say a word and left the room quickly after that. God how had you been so stupid? You should've been a good friend and spoken to him about it anyway.

"John, of course you're not, is that why you've been missing the bands dinners?"  No reply. John had been looking skinnier these few weeks and now that you were so close to him you saw how his face was hollowed and his hands shook holding the teacup.

"John, look at me." You said softly, placing your hands on his cheeks, holding his head up. His eyes were watery, tears threatening to spill. "Look at me, John Winston Lennon you are perfect the way you are, you don't need to lose weight, you're not fat okay? I love you, I love you for who you are, not what you look like." You felt your hands become wet with John's tears as you stared to cry too.

You had never seen John cry before despite knowing him for years, so now you held him close, his head in your neck, sobbing into you shoulder.

"God John you have no idea how wonderful you are, don't ever think about your body that way, everyone's different. What matters is what you think of yourself, if you can't love yourself then what's the point in living? We're not here forever so why spend our life trying to fit into other people's idea of normal? John I swear to you I'll never let you feel like you feel right now again okay?" You stroked his auburn hair while holding him even tighter.

John looked up at you, "I don't want that, because right now y/n I feel like this will get better, right now, with you I feel happy." He smiled, this time though, his eyes were brighter and more full of life than they had been for weeks.

***
A/N hey folks ! I hope you enjoyed this, I was actually real sad when writing this because John didn't deserved that criticism, I think as long as you're healthy, every body is a beautiful body!

Love you all, K.L xx