Draco Malfoy Imagines

A/N: (Please Read) An Important Message

Warning: This message may contain content that some might find upsetting. There are references to death and suicide and many feels. If you are at all uncomfortable, please don't hesitate to click/tap away.
Also a little swearing.
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Dear Readers,

Hi everyone! I know it's been a while (8 months? Wow, I'm a shitty writer. Sorry, everyone).  I think the last time I updated before "A Letter" was December of 2018. Yikes. Big yikes.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for that. I had a few requests and I just disappeared without a word. That was really shitty of me and I'm truly very sorry. I should have at least sent out a message or posted an author's note. I'll try to get those requests done if I can recover the folder where I keep screenshots of the requests I get chronologically. I'll keep you all updated on the whole requests thing.

There's a bigger reason why I wanted to write this author's note and I believe it applies to a lot of people who read my chapters.

At the end of April this year, I lost one of my friends to suicide. I'm
not going to say her name or anything, but I wanted to share this story with you:

In September, I was just coming back for a new year at school and I expected it to be a normal year with it's normal ups and downs. A test here, a quiz there, some drama, and a dash of loneliness and teen angst. 

That's when I met her. She was kind and funny. She was a bit weird like me, too, and in the grade below me. I jumped at the opportunity to get to know her because I was so excited to have a younger friend who had similar interests with me. She joined the theater club I was in and we became friends after that.

We were never especially close, but we had a lot of fun together. We would talk during club time about our interests and work together on each play. She acted and I was the stage manager. It was nothing but fun. She'd come sit with me at lunch and hang out with my friends or after school in the lounge if we had time after school.

She was funny. She smiled a lot and had a skip in her step. She was always spread the joy and danced around the stage. She was a team player and always gave the plays and the musical her all. She never said anything bad and I got the feeling that she was someone I could spend the rest of high school with and still keep in touch after graduation.

After meeting her and knowing her for a while, I got the sense she didn't have many friends in her grade level and had trouble fitting in and finding a group to go to. During one of our conversations, she told me that she usually fits in with people one year older and younger. As time went on, I thought things had gotten better. That was a big mistake.

I remember the day after she died, the head of school got everyone together and told us.

I was absolutely gutted. I couldn't stop crying. I just couldn't. It was like a waterfall and (i can't find another way to describe it) wet. It was just wet. I know it should gross but it was. I was absolutely heartbroken.  I thought of her and a wave of regret crashed into me.

It felt like an ugly dream or a disgusting trick. I kept thinking of who found her and her mindset before she did it. Then I cried some more. 

I felt stupid. I felt like an idiot for not becoming closer with her. Maybe then she might have given me a sign and she would still be here. I thought of her as like a little sister to me and I didn't take care of her as I should have. I kept thinking about what I should have done.

I didn't tell her how much she meant to me. I was very invested in our friendship, though. I wanted her to be around. I wanted us to share high school together. I would help her through the years because I'd already done it. We'd go to theater together and hang out. I'd come back from college to watch her graduate. We'd be friends for a long time. I wanted us to be friends until the end and I wanted her company so badly.