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Know you don't need my protectionBut I'm in love, can't blame me for checking

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Know you don't need my protection
But I'm in love, can't blame me for checking

Chapter 24 ~ Close to You

Ryan Rivera

It was the last day of spring break and consequently the last day at the lake.

With all the sticky tension and drama that had accumulated over the past few days, I was more than excited to pack my bags and get the hell outta here, and I guess that sentiment was shared across everyone else involved. What was intended to be a fun family event full of laughter and memories had turned into a dark, sour atmosphere that resulted in the loss of two of our guests.

Dylan had fled in the middle of the night shortly after our heated debacle in our cabin. It didn't take long for Bryan to start to feeling bad over how we handled things; he even suggested that we reach out to our estranged brother in an effort to try to fix things, but I wasn't too welcoming of the idea of allowing yet other toxic male into my life. Shit was already fucked up enough, and Dylan's presence would've only added more fuel to the flame.

Liza, too, had left without warning. She was the only one who seemed to want to take Bobby's side even when the world was turning against him, so we were all surprised when she packed her bags and left in an Uber yesterday afternoon.

To put it simply: things had turned to shit, fast.

No one dared to utter a single word at dinner that Friday evening despite this being our last moment to be together, but even though I understood the uncomfortable silence, I wished it would go away. This was supposed to be a fun trip, something that we'd probably never get another chance to do again, but it was all ruined over a dumb situation that Bobby and I had gotten ourselves into.

My parents spent a lot of money to allow this to happen, but they couldn't even fully enjoy themselves because of my melodramatic relationship with Bobby. I wanted my parents to love me like they loved Bryan, but now I was quickly realizing that I didn't deserve to be a their favorite—not with all the problems I had caused. Because even though I blamed Bobby for playing a part in how unhappy I felt with my life, I had a major role in this, too.

Bobby would always be Bobby, I concluded. His behavior certainly wasn't anything new, but somehow I had tricked myself into thinking he would change; the only reason I stayed glued to his side for so long was because I desperately hoped he would. It was wrong for me to hold him to such high expectations because Bobby didn't know how to change, and I couldn't blame him for that because I didn't know how to, either.

I was supposed to be getting over him. I was supposed to be filling my free time with things that actually mattered. I was supposed to be living my life the way I wanted and needed to, but all I ever seemed to care about was Bobby. If it wasn't because I was in love with him, then it was because I was looking for ways to distract myself from him, and none of that ever amounted to much. All I had done was strung four unsusceptible boys into my charades, hurting them in the process.

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