I am shattered, torn apart by the relentless battle between two lives that have intertwined with mine - one, the life I once shared with you, and the other, the life I now embrace with him. Both hold a profound significance, an unbearable weight that presses upon my heart, threatening to crush me. The mere thought tears my eyes, their salty streams tracing lines of anguish down my cheeks.
You were there when my world descended into a maelstrom of unspeakable horrors, when the very fabric of my existence unravelled. And yet, he stood by my side when the storm finally passed, when I lay crumbled on the cold floor, broken and defeated. As you laughed alongside the one I cherish, he held me tenderly, offering solace for the cries emanating from my deepest recesses. In moments when I believed I was nothing, you reminded me of my triumphs, but he showered me with gentle reminders of my resilience and accomplishments. You were there to nurse the wounds that marred my body, the bruises, cuts, and burns, but he was the one who shielded me from the temptation of picking at the scars.
Both of you, with your flaws and admirable qualities, have left an indelible mark on my soul, captivating my heart and mind. I am irresistibly drawn to you, even in the face of all the pain and confusion.
Like a fragile moth mesmerized by the allure of an untamed flame, I wage an internal battle against the unholy desires that threaten to consume me. My heart longs to be with him, bask in his love's warmth, while my mind relentlessly reminds me of the wounds you inflicted and the crucial lesson my father tirelessly imparted. This dichotomy reduces me to fragments, utterly helpless in its wake.
Yet, I cannot deny the magnetic pull you exert upon me, a force I wish would cease to exist. Your spirit, your radiance, unexpectedly reignited, shines even brighter than I remember, but its brilliance casts a formidable shadow that engulfs me. I find myself trembling, fearful of drawing too near to you, even though the mere thought of your embrace sends tingles of anticipation coursing through my skin.
In these turbulent depths, I find myself torn between the life that has etched itself into my past and the love that unfolds before me in the present. Amidst the chaos, confusion, and unrelenting pain, I cannot escape the undeniable truth - I am still drawn to you, against all reason, against all odds.
YOU ARE READING
The Thoughts of a Broken Soul
Poetrythese are a collection of my poems from the years a lot of them have secret meaning or are about people in my life I have loved and lost. I hope you enjoy my works :)
