hues (chaelisa)

Chapter Sixteen: In where it's been a year

Lisa

Today marks one year since the car accident last year. This time last year, I was walking across the street, mind racing with thoughts of Chaeyoung, just seconds away from getting hit and knocked unconscious. I thought that I was going to die, only to I wake up hours later in the hospital with little to no recollection of who I was. And then Chaeyoung visited me, and then I screwed everything up—ugh. I don't want to be reminded.

Chaeyoung and I hadn't spoken to each other since the interview last year. At first, I had been persistent on messaging her a few times a week, but after a while, I lost hope. She wasn't responding and I gave up, thinking that Chaeyoung and I were just going to be over like that. I pushed myself to do better in school as an attempt to rid of any lingering thoughts of Chaeyoung. I suppose it worked, but the one-year anniversary of the accident  brought some of the public's attention back onto me, and I couldn't help but let my mind wander.

It had been a while since I've checked up on Chaeyoung's Twitter. Every time I came close to opening Chaeyoung's profile, I always stopped myself. What was the point? There was no point in keeping up with what Chaeyoung was up to. But I suppose it wouldn't do too much harm to just scroll through a few of her latest tweets, just for today.

Rosé
@roses_are_rosie
it's been a hectic month with all the filming and recording. i promise new music will be coming very soon... how are all my fansé's holding on?

kennedy @ken_ned_dee
Replying to @roses_are_rosie
okay but is she seriously not going to acknowledge that today is the anniversary of the accident? her ex almost died like come on. is it really that hard to tweet out "stay safe" or something

palvin @just_anotherdayofgreatness_
Replying to @ken_ned_dee
maybe it's still a sore topic for her? her ex lied to her and she had to find out while she was on live national television. and besides, it's not our business. maybe her and Lisa are talking but don't wanna be public about anything.

I wish Chaeyoung and I were still talking. It would be fine if we weren't even together as a couple. But there's been nothing but radio silence from her. At this point, I've learned to live with it. I'm used to it.

I head back onto the homepage of Twitter, ready to spend the next thirty minutes scrolling through random tweets. I mindlessly refresh the page, and the first thing that loads up is:

"Singer Rosé surprises fans with new song 'Hues.'"

I check the timing on the article, which turns out to be from just a minute ago. With quick fingers, I go on Youtube and type in Chaeyoung's name. The top result is the new song, which has already gathered half-a-million views.

The song is a ballad with subtle hints of hip-hop in the chorus. And the beat is catchy for sure, but it's the lyrics that really catch my attention. I recognize those lyrics as soon as the first three lines were sung. How could I forget those lyrics? Those lyrics were some of the last words that Chaeyoung sent me since almost a year ago. There were several more added lines here and there, but the lyrics still held the same message they did when Chaeyoung first sent them to me.

"And I know that these aren't meaningless hues,
cause the roses in the garden have bloomed.
and it'd be wrong for us to
refuse the brilliant hues."

When she first sent me a picture of those lyrics scrawled onto a crumpled piece of paper, I had been so happy. She told me that she would call me. And in the end, she never did. Why? From the lyrics, it seemed like she wanted us to be together again. So why would she send me that only to never talk to me again? And I'm sure that the person she's referring to in this song is me, so why has she said nothing to me?

As if reading my mind, I get a text from Chaeyoung at that moment.

chaeng
have you heard?

Without much thought, I quickly fire back a reply.

me
yes

chaeng
okay

I wait a few more minutes, hoping that she'll say something else. Those few minutes lapse into hours, and I'm starting to get impatient. What is she doing with me? What does she want? It's around midnight when my feelings finally become too much for me. Instead of sleeping on it, my sleep-deprived mind decides that it'd be a good idea to send her a few more texts.

me
why did you message me?
why didn't you say anything else?
why didn't you call me?
why did you ignore me?
the song is about me right?

I'm surprised when three dots show up at the bottom corner of the screen a couple minutes later, meaning that she's typing something back.

chaeng
do you want to meet up soon?

me
yeah

chaeng
saturday at my place?

me
okay

chaeng
4 a.m. i know it's early but we should avoid cameras.

me
it works for me. i'll be there.

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