into thin air

family portrait

harleys POV

when we got to my house alex and jt went to the living room. i started cooking dinner. i was so pissed that bitch called Johnathan a bastard and jax didnt say a fucking thing. no one did. why did we even come back here?

i was brought out of my thoughts by alex talking "i get why you feel like they dont care. what if maybe theyre just unsure how to reconnect with you? they dont want to trigger you or anything."

"the ONLY one who has actually asked how i am is happy. and they all think were fucking cause were friends cause happy isnt the one who does that. he actually laughs with me, and talks to me. hes learned when i have something thats triggering me and does his best to help. he helped me when i fell out of the shower. but they all jump down my throat about fuckin him and apparently you too but dont ask how im feeling. thats like opie jumping to shit at the diner. dont even get me started on no one saying shit when that bitch called him a bastard. like why are we even back here."

"you jumped on that bitch before anyone of us had a chance to say shit. we only stopped you cause you were going to kill her. i dont know why they havent really talked you and shit. im sure this is all hard for them too. dont get mad but have you tried letting anyone in?"

"fuck you alex... no i guess i havent really. im just scared i guess. im not the same person from before they took me. what if they dont like me? or think im crazy, i mean we all know im crazy but i mean like insane in the membrane. what if they try take johnathan from me?"

"did you really just quote cypress hill? maybe you are crazy. you gotta give them a chance to get to know you again."

"whatever. i guess you're right. shits so different now i dont even know where to start."

Jt came in and we paused our conversation. he wanted to help "cook" dinner. we ate and got ready for bed. after calling jax for Jt to tell him good night, we took turns reading him a good night story. after he fell asleep we sat out back drinking and talking.

alex ended up staying a couple more nights before he went back to reno. he brought us the pictures Ashley sent, some of Jt toys, his special outfits like his coming home outfit, his first holidays and birthday.

i was so thankful for sam, ashley and alex. i may be johnathans mom and jax is his dad but sam and ash raised our son when i couldnt. i would be so lost without them, i wouldnt have my son, i probably would have given up along time ago. i wish i was never taken, i wanted so bad to have been there every day and night, i was there alot but i also missed alot. i was so glad to have the pictures.

"am i going to daddys?" jt asked me as we ate our breakfast

"yeah baby. he should be here soon."

"i wish i didnt have to."

"what do you mean Johnathan?"

"i wish we all lived here."

that broke my heart. "im sorry baby.. what if when you come back ill ask if your daddy wants to stay over with you?"

"okay mama" he said still sounding upset.

after we ate we went out back for him to play. i heard the door bell and told him to stay in the yard, it was fenced in but i still worried.

"hey" i said opening the door.

"hey" jax said walking in.

the only time weve talked since what happened at the clubhouse was for jt to tell him goodnight. we walked into the kitchen, i poured us both some coffee.

"im sorry about everything that happened the other day."

"yeah i probably should have let you handle your bitch but im not sorry. i wont have anyone talk about my baby or be mean to him. and yeah i didnt realize it at the time, but Alex told me i didnt give you or anyone a chance to correct her... it honestly felt like forever from the time she said that shit."