into thin air

clearing the air

harleys POV

its been a four days since i argued with opie. i havent left the house and ive only talked to jax so i could talk to our son. just a quick "hey J wants to talk to you" or "hey is J up? or busy?" J would call me in the morning when he stayed with jax and at night right before bed, sometimes through out the day. he would call jax the same.

normally he was used to seeing each of us on the days he was with the other cause we would be at TM. but i havent even left the house. ive missed my baby but i needed this time to basically woller in self pity.

i got drunk after happy dropped me off and didnt stop until i passed out. i woke up the next morning on the couch. the first thing i did was drink some coffee. i needed to talk to someone so i called alex. i didnt want to bother sam or ashley since they had a newborn. I couldn't wait to see them again and meet baby joey.

i told alex everything from my anxiety, nightmares, flashbacks, everything with jax, me falling out of the shower and happy helping me, what was said about happy staying at the house. i dont even think he fully got to ask how i was doing before i started telling him everything. he talked to me and helped me work through what i was feeling. he promised he would be up soon to visit me and Johnathan. we decided to talk more and he was supposed to bring the pictures ashley has of mine and some of them and joey.

the rest of the time i drank most of the day trying to forget everything. what a way to try and cope.

johnthan was coming back home today so i got up early and made sure the house was clean. i got ready and tried my best to make sure i looked presentable and not like i spent the past four days drunk.

i pulled into TM and rolled my eyes when i seen tara sitting with jax. i couldnt help but wonder where my son was. but before i was even out of the car i heard him yelling for me and running out of the office. i met him about half way and picked him up.

"oh baby mama has missed you so so much. i love you J." i said smothering him in kisses and squeezing him tight.

"i miss you mama. i love you too." he was giggling.

"did you have fun at your daddys?" i asked him as i walked towards jax.

gemma and most of the guys were over there by now so it wouldnt be that awkward, i hope.

"oh yeah we watched cartoons before he went to work. we went to the park and grandma took me shopping for toys and books. we went to lunch with tara, shes daddys friend." i instantly got pissed. but i didnt want anyone to know it. i noticed jax tense up

"oh wow that all sounds fun baby. youll have to tell me about all those new toys grandma got you." he climbed out of my arms and into pops lap.

happy pulled in and walked over. he nodded to the guys but pulled me towards TMs office, he shut the door.

"what the hell" i asked

"let me see." he rasped

i huffed and pulled my shirt up "see all good."

"sure. keep cleaning them. how much have you drank?"

"what you talking about"

"dont play harley."

"i havent left the house since you dropped me off."

"you done with that shit."

"when Johnathan is with me i dont drink. so for now yeah."

"dont be stupid harley. he doesnt deserve to be the reason why."

i just nodded. i knew he was right. he hugged me real quick then opened the door for me to walk out.