What If?

Goodnight Princess

All of the lights were off but I knew my way around from spending so much time here, so I just walked to the hallway where the light switch is and turned them all on. Then I went to the kitchen and sat on one of the stools near the counter.

Jason came in and took a seat next to me.

“Soph what do you feel like doing?” He asked, nicely, looking at me.

“It’s up to you, I really don’t care.”

“Well how about you take a shower and get comfy, it’s been a really long day for ya, sound good?”

“Do I really smell so bad that you’re telling me to take a shower?” I teased.

“No! Soph, no! That’s not it, it’s just that I thought that if…”

“I know Jason, I was joking!” I said with a laugh.

“Right, okay. Well, if you want to take a shower, come with me.” He said, laughing, so I followed him up the familiar steep flight of stairs into the hallway and watched as he opened the hall closet and got me a bath towel and a wash cloth.

“Here you go.” He handed me the towel and cloth and told me he’d be waiting downstairs in the living room when I was done.

“Thank you Jason.”

“Yup no problem. We’ll watch a movie when you’re done sound good?”

“Yeah, perfect.”

I went to the bathroom and closed the door. There were a lot of clothes scattered on the floor. I laughed to myself. Jason and his dad were actually doing pretty good cleaning wise for not having a woman in the house. With a father who is always busy and a teenage boy, you’d think the house would be a total pig sty, but it’s really not.

I turned on the water and felt for it to get to the perfect temperature. I love hot showers. I doubt many people take showers as hot as mine. The whole room is steamy in a matter of one minute. Once the water was a good temperature, I stepped in and closed the curtain. I let the water fall over my head and shoulders and just stood there, enjoying the feeling of the water droplets running down my body. I ran my fingers through my hair to soak it and then washed up quickly.

Once I was done, I opened the shower curtain and stepped out, being careful not to slip on the tile floor. I grabbed the towel Jason got for me and squeezed my hair to get all the water I could out of it, and then I did what I do every time I get out of the shower, look at all the permanent marks my father left on my body. I have bruises from not too long ago on my hips and my thighs, also on my shoulder near my heart where he pushed me and I hit the kitchen chair. How the bruise lasted this long, I have no idea. I have scars on my stomach from when he tried to cut me as a little girl. I don’t remember what he attempted to cut me with, and I don’t know why, he was probably drunk, but I do know that I’m not proud to have the scars. I can’t wear the swimsuits that all other teenage girls wear. I can’t wear anything that could show the scars. I slowly trailed my fingers over the scars and bruises, taking deep breaths to keep me calm. I felt the bruises that were from the other night, when Papa attacked Mama at dinner and I tried to protect her. They were literally in the shapes on his fingers on my shoulders and upper arms. I winced when I touched them, because they were still tender and when I felt them, I got a flashback of when he was ripping my hair out and hurting Mama and hurting me.

I took another really deep breath and put my clothes back on. My shirt and jeans were really dirty from sliding on the dirt and gravel today, and not to mention, these jeans are nowhere near comfortable.

After drawing a cute smiley face on the steamy mirror, I opened bathroom door and was greeted by a really cold hallway, and I immediately got goose bumps. I walked down the stairs into the living room where Jason said he would be waiting for me. I saw him sprawled out on the couch watching TV. I made my appearance in the room and Jason immediately stood up.